Tanner Johnson CYFSN

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Justin Barton: Welcome, everybody, to the Can You Feel So Now podcast. I'm Justin Barton, and I'm grateful to sit across the virtual Zoom table with, I think he's probably my second cousin once removed. I'm not sure exactly how that works, but it's a kid I've never met, but I know his dad, I know his dad.

Justin Barton: It's been a while, but grateful to get to meet him. Anyways Tanner, why don't you tell us just a little bit about yourself, a little bit about your family where you're from, and some hobbies you have.

Tanner Johnson: Yeah, sure. I'd love to, Justin. So, I'm from Queen Creek, Arizona. I have six siblings. I have some great parents, and growing up with them has been pretty cool.

Tanner Johnson: I have five sisters. And then one brother. And so there's a lot of drama in the home. And so it's just awesome being able to grow up with so many siblings and just all the experiences I've been able to have with all of them.

Justin Barton: What kind of hobbies do you have?

Tanner Johnson: In high school, I used to run cross country and track.[00:01:00]

Tanner Johnson: And I did that for basically through all the high school and even through junior high as well. So I love running. I love swimming. Just love hanging out with my friends and doing fun stuff.

Justin Barton: That's so cool that you ran and do all those physical things. You have a lot of sisters. I also have a lot of sisters. So I get what'd you say?

Justin Barton: Hey, there's a lot of drama in the house. Where do you fall in your family? Are you in the older side, the younger side?

Tanner Johnson: Yeah, I'm right in the middle. So three older, three younger.

Justin Barton: Nice. And how do you feel about that middle child? Is it a stereotype that's true or is it like, eh, it's not really that big a deal?

Tanner Johnson: Yeah, for the most part, just like do my own thing. Like most people say, the middle child is the one that kind of just doesn't have that too much attention where they're not like the oldest, where they don't get bossed around too much. But they also don't get all that attention towards the younger side.

Justin Barton: How do you feel about that? Is that kind of [00:02:00] your personality anyways to just go with the flow? Or do you want to be a little bit more visible in your life?

Tanner Johnson: I think it was a middle child. They just try to just get out there a little bit, just like Just show everyone that I'm there kind of thing.

Justin Barton: Love it. So tell me a little bit about your mission. Where were you assigned to serve and what dates were you there?

Tanner Johnson: Yeah. So I was assigned to the Jamaica Kingston mission and that mission actually covers the islands covering the Bahamas and Cayman islands as well.

Justin Barton: I just interviewed a guy that served in the Barbados mission. So just, I'm assuming that's a little bit south of where Jamaica is. But it's cool. A couple people from the Caribbean. So what was your, take when you first arrived in the mission field as to what did you expect and what was the reality

Tanner Johnson: okay, so to go back all the way to it, I actually got reassigned. to New York City mission and so I [00:03:00] went there waiting for my visa to Jamaica because it hadn't been fully processed yet. So I was there for about five months and I didn't, really expect the mission to be like that. It was more of just grab our stuff, just go straight out.

Tanner Johnson: Like day one, we just went to the hotel and after that we got our trainers and we went straight to parking lots and we were inviting people out to church. So I thought we were just going to go eat with a member or something. But it was like, just all of the street contacting and trying to get people to church.

Justin Barton: . So, you were called and assigned to Jamaica, but reassigned to New York for five months. What did you think when you're like, man, why isn't my visa coming in? Were you frustrated about that? Were you excited about going to New York? What were your emotions?

Tanner Johnson: Yeah, I would say, I was a little bit nervous because that's big city and it's also January.[00:04:00]

Tanner Johnson: And so I was packing for more summer weather, just all year round, just summer. And so I only had like short sleeve shirts and just no coats, nothing. So getting assigned there was a bit, I'm worried about freezing. But luckily I had some trainers that helped me out with that gave me some stuff to use

Justin Barton: Now, let's talk a little bit about your experience in New York City Tell me about maybe a theme that your mission president there had that had an impact on you for the rest of your mission .

Tanner Johnson: Yeah for sure. So the theme was more of just like Just getting out there. They called it launching your nets out in the deep. So you just go out, street contact, just try to invite as many people to church as possible. Like you're constantly talking to as many people as possible. Because the more people you talk to, the more people you're getting at church, and you're able to start teaching.

Tanner Johnson: And so , we call it the find flow. You just invite them to church. And if they [00:05:00] say yeah, you just start teaching them a little bit of things and then you set up a lesson at the church, .

Justin Barton: So in that phrase, launching your nets out into the deep.

Justin Barton: How does that apply even outside of the finding? How are you able to apply that in different parts of either missionary work or even in your life?

Tanner Johnson: For missionary work, it's just checking out different spots. We'd go check out laundry mats. We'd check out, go out to like fast food places.

Tanner Johnson: Just invite them out to church, just anywhere like that. And then for coming back, watching that out in the deep, I'd say. Just going out, looking for opportunities for jobs, for work even for dating.

Justin Barton: Even dating. And so it sounds like you did a lot of street contact where you just talked to pretty much anybody that walked by and said, Hey, you want to come to church? Is that kind of how that approach looked?

Tanner Johnson: Yeah, so it was like after lunch, we just go straight out on the streets.[00:06:00]

Tanner Johnson: So it'd be about like 12 o'clock to maybe six o'clock. And then from six o'clock, we do lessons at the church until nine o'clock. But during that time of like 12 to six, we'd just be on the street, inviting people out to church, just see if they want to come. Say you want to come to church on Sunday.

Tanner Johnson: They say, yeah, you get their number and get their name as well. And then you just send them the address off of their number.

Justin Barton: So you mentioned that you did lessons at the church in the evenings. Was that typical for that mission? You'd go to the church to teach the lessons rather than go into the people's homes?

Tanner Johnson: Yeah, because New York City, how it is, you wouldn't be able to find anyone because there's so many apartment buildings, you wouldn't be able to teach very many people that day. So you just have the people come and meet you there. They'll usually be able to just take the bus and find it pretty easy.

Justin Barton: All right. That's pretty cool. Was there a verse of scripture, whether you found it before you started serving your mission or it came along early in your [00:07:00] mission that kind of became a a verse and a concept that you kept coming back to throughout your mission?

Tanner Johnson: Yeah, for sure. , this is the scripture I put on my mission plaque, actually. It's 2 Nephi 31 verse 13.

Justin Barton: Why don't you go ahead and read that for us, and then tell me a little bit about why it was so meaningful to you.

Tanner Johnson: Yeah, sure. . It says, Wherefore, my beloved brethren, I know that , if ye shall follow the Son with full purpose of heart, acting no hypocrisy and no deception before God, but with real intent, repenting of your sins, witnessing unto the Father that ye are willing to take upon you the name of Christ and by baptism, yea, by following your Lord and your Savior down into the water, according to his words, behold then shall you, receive the Holy Ghost.

Tanner Johnson: They then come with the baptism of [00:08:00] fire and of the Holy Ghost, and then you shall, you speak with the tongue of angels and shout praises unto the Holy One of Israel.

Justin Barton: All right. So tell me a little bit about why that verse was so meaningful to you before your mission and into your mission.

Tanner Johnson: For before my mission just seeing like that we got to follow God with no hypocrisy.

Tanner Johnson: So we got to get ourselves right. We got to do that all the time. And just you got to prepare yourself before the mission. And so we got to keep those covenants, that baptism covenant. So I like that. Cause it just reminded me of the promises that we make.

Justin Barton: And how do you get yourself right?

Justin Barton: When you find yourself maybe a little bit off the path.

Tanner Johnson: Yeah, for sure. It can happen to anyone falling off the paths sometimes happens. But it just takes [00:09:00] humility, just like looking at yourself and being like, okay, I need to get myself right. And so you got to keep reading, you got to keep praying, ask God what you need to do to get back on the path, I would say.

Tanner Johnson: And he's going to give it to you, what you need to do.

Justin Barton: Alright, . So, let's now jump ahead 5 months into your mission. You've now received your visa, you're heading off down to Jamaica, . What did that change look like from New York City to Jamaica, the first assignment you had down there?

Tanner Johnson: Yeah. Okay. So yeah, when I got to Jamaica I got my first area, my trainer, cause I gotta be culture trained. So I got the culture trainer and I went to a smaller area. It was more in the bush, I'd say just like more far out, less than the city area. And this was pretty interesting cause we didn't really have a church down there.

Tanner Johnson: It was like, we just met underneath a tree. And so it was definitely a lot [00:10:00] different from New York where you're talking to thousands of people every day. To going down to like maybe talking to five people a day. . The people were like way different because they were less committed to things and stuff.

Tanner Johnson: So, it was a big change.

Justin Barton: So you go from teaching lessons all evening in the church building to sitting under a tree for church and just speaking to a handful of people every day. How did that affect you emotionally when that change happened?

Tanner Johnson: Yeah, I just felt to be honest, just like I didn't want to be there anymore it was, a hard experience because I felt why is this area open?

Tanner Johnson: There's not really many people to teach. There's no one to really help. Yeah, that's how it went for me.

Justin Barton: So how do you deal with that? I want to go home. This is lame. What's the point? How did you work through that?

Justin Barton: What lessons did you learn in [00:11:00] that situation?

Tanner Johnson: My culture trainer was there with me. I knew that the gospel was true. So I just kept pushing with it because I was like this is where I should be at this time. I may not know who I'm supposed to teach right now.

Tanner Johnson: Maybe I'm here just to strengthen the few members that are here, about six of them.

Justin Barton: So you said my culture trainer, was this like a, was your culture trainer? Was he like an Islander? Was he somebody that was from the area or just somebody who had been there for a while and got it?

Tanner Johnson: Yeah, so he was from Utah, so he was pretty cool. He was only out a few months before me, and so we were both just trying to learn together. So I, this was like when I hit six months, he was at like seven months, and so we both didn't know what was going on, so we just stuck with it. We just pushed through.

Justin Barton: So what was the mission president's theme once you got to your, assignment there in Jamaica?

Tanner Johnson: So our mission president he, [00:12:00] he would do interviews like in person and stuff. And he'd just talk about like the importance of the work.

Tanner Johnson: We tried to help this other area that was close to us. Just like bringing those people together. But since none of them have cars or anything, it was hard to work with that. His theme was just trying to build up the area that we were living in and try to build up another area and bring them together.

Justin Barton: , what was the process or maybe the progress in that goal to build up those areas and bring them together? And even if it didn't succeed, what was the progress that made in your life?

Tanner Johnson: Yeah, so our area that we were working in originally it had six members. And then the other area that we were trying to help, it was about a few miles down, and they had three members.

Tanner Johnson: So it's pretty cool to meet other members that hadn't seen missionaries for a while because we were opening another area at the same time. So it's cool to meet them and just see how converted they were, because they were still converted to the [00:13:00] gospel even without missionaries for a long time.

Tanner Johnson: And then not even going to church for a really long time.

Justin Barton: That's really cool. So it was out there quite a ways and, isolated. You mentioned that people didn't really have cars. What was the, way that these people made their living? How did they survive in these areas where there doesn't sound like there was a whole lot of stuff going on?

Tanner Johnson: Yeah. So most of these people, like they would have I would say maybe some family that would have a place and then when that, family member dies and passes away the next family member would inherit that house and they would just be there for generations to generations.

Tanner Johnson: There's not really any income coming in, so it's just very stagnant.

Justin Barton: So how they survived? Did they have a little family plot of land where they , grow some fruit and vegetables? Or how do they maintain life?

Tanner Johnson: Yeah, they sometimes have a source from the states like where they have family that's [00:14:00] working up in the states and then the family would bring some money back or send money to them to get some stuff.

Tanner Johnson: And some people would have like chicken farms and stuff and they would sell the chicken for money or they would. Just eat the chicken or they were just very like self reliant with that kind of stuff.

Justin Barton: All right. So that's a huge shift from New York city to living out like that. And you talked a little bit about how hard that was mentally to do that.

Justin Barton: Now, what did you learn from the people there in Jamaica in that first couple of areas where you're out in the sticks about Maybe contentment, satisfaction with what, you have and about your own attitudes toward enough in your life .

Tanner Johnson: Yeah. So a lot of the people, they don't really have much and it's pretty cool to see even with like them not having a lot of stuff, they were just like able to rely on this.

Tanner Johnson: I'd say God, I'd [00:15:00] say they just were very God fearing people and they just trusted that God would provide for them. And it was cool to just see, like, how satisfied they were with not having a whole lot of stuff. They didn't have cars, they didn't have A. C. Maybe their family's not there, maybe they're working a lot in the States.

Tanner Johnson: It was just cool to just see how All these people were just like happy.

Justin Barton: The phrase that president Nelson said, it was something like the joy we feel in our life has very little to do with the circumstances of our life, but a lot to do with the focus of our life.

Justin Barton: Is that something that kind of rings true to what you learned there?

Tanner Johnson: Yeah That's. what they were doing for sure. They didn't have a whole lot of stuff they were just happy.

Justin Barton: Now, how can you apply that into your own life? Tanner?

Tanner Johnson: I'd say even with not a whole lot of stuff, I've just [00:16:00] being happy for where I'm at if I don't have this massive mansion or this really fancy car I could be happy with.

Tanner Johnson: the situation I'm at. I could be happy with the opportunities I get on the circumstances that I get put into.

Justin Barton: . So I'm assuming you served in several other areas, locations in Jamaica and around there. You mentioned that it also incorporated the Bahamas and the Cayman Islands.

Justin Barton: Did you go anywhere off the Jamaican island? Or were you there for your mission in Jamaica?

Tanner Johnson: Yeah, I was in Jamaica for the whole time.

Justin Barton: All right, so tell me about maybe another place that you served in Jamaica that may be contrasted with this first area that you were in.

Tanner Johnson: Yeah, so after that one area that was pretty much in the bush, I went off to Kingston, and Kingston was a little bit more New York style.

Tanner Johnson: It was a little bit more busy because Kingston's the city of Jamaica, and so there's a lot of people there. [00:17:00] Even with Jamaicans, it's like the commitment's still really low, just a very vibe kind of thing. They just are content with everything. Just, yeah, you'll see me if you see me if you don't see me, then you don't see me kind of thing.

Justin Barton: Did that frustrate you by chance Tanner? Are you somebody that maybe your whole life you're like, Hey, if somebody says they're going to be somewhere, they need to be there. Or is that okay? Is that kind of how you go with the flow also?

Tanner Johnson: Sometimes it just depends, but we want these people to come to church.

Tanner Johnson: We want them to start meeting with us. But when they don't do that, it just makes you feel kind of down

Justin Barton: so, did you develop any new skills or qualities during your mission that you didn't expect to develop as a missionary?

Tanner Johnson: Yeah, just being like patient with people they may not have the funds, so I have to be like patient with them not being able to come or come to [00:18:00] church and just humility, just learning how to not be upset with my circumstances that I'm in,

Justin Barton: did your perception and conception of who your Heavenly Father is change from before your mission, through your mission, to today? And if so, what does that look like?

Tanner Johnson: Yeah, I would say, I first started my, mission. It was like does God even love me?

Tanner Johnson: That's what I was feeling. There was a lot of things that was happening before. And I had those emotions but throughout my mission, I just saw the love for God through the people. It was really cool changed my perspective of not being able to feel that love from God, and then just being able to feel it and, like, how much blessings He actually gives to us.

Justin Barton: So Tanner, if you ask yourself now, does God even love me? What's your answer?

Tanner Johnson: Yeah, [00:19:00] 100%.

Justin Barton: And prove it to me. In other words, tell me why you know that now.

Tanner Johnson: Yeah. Just seeing how blessed I am with an amazing family. Knowing that I can be together with them forever. And the opportunities that I have, I'm able to get work. I'm able to eat. I'm able to provide just those kind of things. And I'm not seeing like a God that's like trying to take me out or like trying to make me suffer. I go through hard things because that's the things I'm going to be able to learn.

Tanner Johnson: Rather than seeing it from a perspective of it's trying to do this to hurt me or something. It's like this is what's gonna help me and to grow.

Justin Barton: That's cool. So in that Evolution, I guess of who Heavenly Father was in your life. How did your prayer life also evolve along with that?

Tanner Johnson: Yeah, I mean as a missionary you rely on prayer like 100 percent every day [00:20:00] Every missionary can attest to that because that's like the only resource you really got it's you and God on that so You have to talk to him he's there he's, gonna be the one who's pushing you, and that's who's really there for you.

Justin Barton: And in all these conversations that you have with God, how does the Lord speak to you personally, Tanner?

Tanner Johnson: Yeah, so, usually it takes a little bit. Sometimes I don't get answers right away. Sometimes it's like I have two options to do this or this and I pray and I'm like God, which one should I do?

Tanner Johnson: And then I feel a little bit right about this and the other one I'm feeling a little bit hesitant. So I think I'm going to have to go with the one I'm feeling more sure about. And then God just directs that path completely when you just take those steps.

Justin Barton: I love that, that concept of , taking action and then having it confirmed that way. So Tanner, let's, go look [00:21:00] back before your mission. As you, you received your mission call, you're excited to go. Did you have any Goals or things that you wanted to learn or accomplish as a missionary.

Justin Barton: And if so, what does that look like today? Did, were you able to achieve those things? Did they change throughout your mission?

Tanner Johnson: Yeah. So before my mission, let's say like I was super introverted, like trying to talk to someone was like the hardest thing. I'd sit there with my friend group, just be the guy that just sits there, just listening to the conversations.

Tanner Johnson: But then on my mission, it was really hard cause that's what you got to do every day. And so I think going to New York was like something that really stretched me, pushed me to the limit. Just you got to talk to every single person on the street. If you're not, then you're not trusting that the Lord is going to push you.

Tanner Johnson: Now it's just like the change that I made I'll talk to anyone. [00:22:00] I'm about to just go out and do door to door sales because it's like going from like introverted kind of person. To going out to be someone who's gonna go door to door sales

Justin Barton: it's super cool.

Justin Barton: You have the opportunity to like FaceTime or whatever with, parents, with family regularly on your mission. So they may have started to see that transition happen. But when you got home, did your parents and siblings go Whoa, dude, Tanner, why are you so outgoing now?

Tanner Johnson: Yeah. When you get off the plane, they look at you, like, who is this guy kind of things, but. I'd say it's just like cool for them to see the change that I've made. They can see it. I'll just go up and talk to people. If I need help in a store, I'm the one to go up and ask for help, kind of thing.

Justin Barton: Yeah so now you're not like hesitant to go ask for help so that would be a big change for me. I'm, this proud guy that, no, I [00:23:00] don't need anybody's help. Leave me alone. I'll take care of it. I'll figure it out. But you're now willing to say, you know what? Hey, let's just go talk to somebody.

Justin Barton: It may make things a little bit easier. Have you found that to be the case? Your willingness to approach people has actually made accomplishing things a little bit easier in your life.

Tanner Johnson: Yeah, for sure. I used to see people as just like scary. Just putting the walls up kind of thing.

Tanner Johnson: But I think the mission has helped me put those walls down. They're just people like they have struggles that they're, they could talk to. Other people just fine.

Justin Barton: So Tanner, in what ways do you see yourself continuing to serve and share your faith now that you've returned from your mission?

Tanner Johnson: Yeah I haven't had too many opportunities. I've been only home for a week and a half but just with my siblings and stuff, it's pretty cool. Set that example, just keeping those habits and they can see how much I've [00:24:00] changed the goals that I am making

Justin Barton: I have a series of three questions that I ask everybody. And let's just go right into that because I think what you shared there may. Lead right into it. This project is called, Can You Feel So Now? It's based on Alma chapter 5 verse 26, which reads, And now behold, I say unto you, if you have experienced a change of heart, And if you have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can you feel so now?

Justin Barton: So Tanner, have you experienced a change of heart? And if so, what does that look like in your life?

Tanner Johnson: Yeah, for sure. I definitely have had a change of heart for sure. I guess it comes down to your goals and your desires that change of heart really just comes from within yourself.

Tanner Johnson: Well what are you going to do on a daily basis? Are you going to play video games? Are you going to just waste kind of time? Or are you going to spend that time with God and with your goals and all the potential that we ultimately have that change of heart just [00:25:00] comes where you, your desires completely change almost like you're a completely different person before, like maybe you play video games, maybe you do this.

Tanner Johnson: Maybe drink, maybe smoke, but just like having that change, no desire anymore to do those things,

Justin Barton: now the next phrase. If you have felt to sing the song of Redeeming love, now that phrase can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people.

Justin Barton: Tell me what you think that phrase, means to you.

Tanner Johnson: Yeah when you sing you're always happy. When you're in a bad mood, singing just like always cheers you up. So I would say redeeming love, like singing, like it just sounds like you're just so happy.

Tanner Johnson: You have that change of heart and you're just singing, you're just loving life kind of thing.

Justin Barton: Yeah, where the question lies in this verse, I would ask, can you feel so now? What I'd like to do, Tanner, is let's just transport ourselves a few years into the future. Me and you, we're on a time machine, we show up a few years in the [00:26:00] future, and you talked about, there are a few members of your family that aren't currently fully participating in the gospel, whatever, and you find yourself on that fence.

Justin Barton: I'm not feeling it right now. What do you have to say? So I'm going to have you today. Tanner approach that Tanner and say, Hey man, here's how come here's how I feel. So now let's see what you need to do in order to feel so now yourself.

Tanner Johnson: Yeah I would probably just shake, that person what are you doing kind of thing?

Tanner Johnson: You felt the spirit you felt all those great experiences what, why are you giving those up ? And you spent two years of your life, why just throw it away . Because if you go inactive, then you everything just goes downhill from that.

Tanner Johnson: So I will just say, well this is not a path you want to go on. You've seen other people that have been on that path and you've seen other people on the [00:27:00] better side of the fence where it's more green. So why, would you leave that?

Justin Barton: I like, I think sometimes this can be a really powerful portion of this conversation here. Now, before you and I started recording , or as we've been speaking along here, have you had anything that the Lord's put on your heart that you're like, I want to share this. While we're still talking here.

Tanner Johnson: Yeah, sure. , yeah before the mission I struggled a lot. I had some things going on, but I had to do a lot of things on my mission that was very hard for me because like things in my past would haunt me on my mission. But I just would pray and I would pray and I would ask God to just help me, get through it.

Tanner Johnson: Help me get through my past. Took almost two years basically just being on that right path has just helped a lot getting back on the right path.

Justin Barton: Yeah, [00:28:00] and what are you talked about praying a lot, you talked about those things.

Justin Barton: What are some things that you have done and that you need to continue to do to get on and stay on the right path?

Tanner Johnson: Yeah, I would just say if you ever look at the past and you think that God hasn't forgiven you, you just gotta tune out that thought, because God has forgiven you of those things.

Tanner Johnson: So you just gotta keep pushing forward. God sees your progress. Maybe you mess up here and there. And you look at that only, but then if you just look at the progress that you make. That's what really pushes you. And I think that's what God really sees. It's the progress you put in, not, your mistakes, but the hours that you put in.

Justin Barton: Yeah. Thanks for sharing that Tanner. All right. So before we close out, I'd like to invite you to bear testimony of whatever principles you feel are most important for you to bear testimony about.

Tanner Johnson: Yeah. Let's say the most [00:29:00] important principle on the mission to learn is to have charity to love people, because I know it could be hard on the mission to really love the people sometimes, because sometimes they can get on your nerves. Sometimes you feel like they're wasting your time because sometimes you feel like you have something better to do.

Tanner Johnson: But when you just love the people as a savior, would , it just makes the mission so much better. So that's what, you're there for is to really just love the people, just help them. And they can see that you, appreciate them and you, want to spend the time with them and you just want what's best for them.

Tanner Johnson: They could feel that. And so just developing that, and then it carries back when you get home, people can really see that you really appreciate them. And they can feel that love you feel for them and just being able to love the savior. It's, awesome. It's the most amazing experience to have.

Justin Barton: Thank you so much Tanner for your time. Any last thoughts before we close this out?

Tanner Johnson: I just want [00:30:00] to say if anyone's thinking about serving a mission just do it because it's the most wonderful experience you'll have. It's, really hard. You're gonna have the most hard days and you're gonna feel like you just can't keep going anymore, but you just gotta keep pushing, , I like to say, push, pray, push, pray, you just gotta keep going.

Tanner Johnson: But, you just have the most wonderful experiences you have great food, you have great people that you'll meet, the most wonderful experiences that will ultimately change your life.

Justin Barton: Love it, thank you so much Tanner, this has really been meaningful for me, I hope it's been meaningful and helpful for you also.

Tanner Johnson: Yes, definitely