Samuel Spencer CYFSN Video

Justin Barton: [00:00:00] Welcome to the Can You Feel So Now podcast. My name is Justin Barton, and I'm so lucky, so blessed, so grateful to be the host of this project that the Lord has led me into, and I'm just blown away by the caliber of the young men and young women who recently returned from their missions, and today I get to meet a new one, and I'm super excited about that.

Justin Barton: This is Samuel Spencer. Samuel, why don't you just introduce yourself a little bit, talk about your family Where do you live and some of your hobbies?

Samuel Spencer: Yeah. So like you said, I'm Samuel Spencer. I was born and raised in Provo, Utah. I'm 23 years old. I did a year of college beforehand.

Samuel Spencer: And I actually got to go do a summer of FSY as well, counseling before I left. So that was an awesome experience. I have four [00:01:00] siblings, so I have an older brother, one younger sister, and two younger brothers and a second child and my mom and dad, and we got two dogs, so we include them in our account.

I loved playing sports. I played a lot of lacrosse and always played soccer. And so I try to stay active, try to involved in whatever way I can there. And I like to play guitar a lot too. I've been playing guitar since I was about eight years old.

Samuel Spencer: Just kind of classical and I don't take lessons or anything anymore, but I like to just Play for myself. And yeah, music is super nice. Super calming.

Justin Barton: Yeah. Is that something that you were able to do while on your mission? Did you, were you able to have a guitar with you or steal somebody's guitar that you ran into and just strum a little bit?

Justin Barton: For sure.

Samuel Spencer: It took me a while to get a guitar for myself on my mission. [00:02:00] I talked to some people beforehand, our mission president was okay with it. But I decided, you know, I'll wait, maybe get a guitar out there instead of bringing my own. I didn't want mine to get damaged or stolen or anything like that.

Samuel Spencer: While I was out there, there was a missionary, my first department had a guitar. I tried to kind of stay away from that. I was trying to be consecrated, but kind of the further I got in my mission, the nicer it was to have . A couple minutes here and there. When I had some downtime to sit and just play and it's super relaxing to me and super calming.

Samuel Spencer: So later in my mission, after about a year, three months or so, I got a guitar. I started playing a little more and then I gave that one away, but at the end of my mission, there was a another missionary in my apartment who had a guitar as well. So, I played a little here and there. Every once in a while, I'd see someone on the street with a guitar.

Samuel Spencer: It was fun to kind of talk to them. I think there was one or two times that I [00:03:00] Kind of use the day to contact people and talk to themselves super fun.

Justin Barton: Love it. Love it. That's super cool So now let's dive into you said When you got there So where is there tell me about where you served and the basic date range that you were there

Samuel Spencer: Yeah, so I served in the Benin Kotonou mission Most of the time when people ask I just say West Africa because people don't really know where the country Benin is and so I found saying West Africa gives a better idea.

Samuel Spencer: The mission includes Benin and Togo. So it's actually two countries and they're right next to Ghana and Nigeria. So they're just two little skinny countries then squished between those two. I left for the MTC November 9th, 2022. I got into the field, I think December 13th.

Samuel Spencer: 2022, that same year, and then I left the mission December 2nd, 2024.

Justin Barton: Alright, , and I [00:04:00] assume that the primary language you spoke while you were there is French, correct? Yes, yes, French speaking. Did you pick up any of the local dialects also?

Samuel Spencer: I picked up a little bit of Fongbe, which is spoken mainly in Benin.

Samuel Spencer: I know Adar Kazi we talked to earlier, he picked up a lot of I think a lot more as well. But I was trying to just get the French down. So,

Justin Barton: Did you serve most of your mission in Benin or did you spend some time in Togo? What did that look like for you and your experience?

Samuel Spencer: Yeah. So I did a total of two transfers in Togo, which I started in Benin. I was there for about 18 months and I did three months in Togo and I came back to Benin. So I didn't quite to learn a language as much as other, other elders did, but I love both countries and there's not a huge difference between the two.

Justin Barton: All right. So you said you were born and raised in Provo, Utah. I can imagine that when you [00:05:00] arrived in West Africa, there was , some culture shock that may have happened. Talk to me a little bit about your, your emotional and mental reactions from that.

Samuel Spencer: Yeah. So

Samuel Spencer: I think being in the Ghana MTC was really awesome because it kind of gave me some time to adjust. Of course the missionaries there from all over the place, not just West Africa. And so you have so many different cultures that are combining just like any other MTC. But it gave me, you know, I had a Nigerian companion in the MTC, and so that kind of gave me an insight into what type of people I'd be interacting with over the next couple years

Samuel Spencer: I loved my companion at MTC. He was amazing. And I think there were some definite culture shocks, especially seeing, you know, living conditions and kind of daily life. My first area was a [00:06:00] smaller village. And so people were a little poor. I saw a lot of, amputated limbs because people couldn't get health care.

Samuel Spencer: I saw a couple accidents. The one thing that really shocked me was how accidents work. People won't touch or help anyone until the police show up, which is really different from the United States here. We have some laws that are really helpful in allowing people to step in and help people who are injured.

Samuel Spencer: So I'm much more appreciative of that now. My dad, of course, when I got my call, he did tons of research and he was looking into the country. But when I left, , I tried to kind of avoid that because I just wanted to get there and just experience it.

Samuel Spencer: I didn't want to have any pre me. conceived ideas about how it's going to be. I think that really helped me. I was really able to just kind of, you know, focusing on my missionary work really [00:07:00] helped. I didn't have to worry so much about cultural differences or anything like that, I could just be there and experience it for myself.

Justin Barton: I love that. And I'm going to tie this into the consecration thing that you talked about earlier about the guitar. Hey, when you got to your first apartment, there was a guitar there, but you were trying to consecrate yourself to the work to get in with both feet. But I remember A million years ago when I served my mission and it was in Romania, I remember getting there and just being shocked at the differences, , and I didn't do a lot of study beforehand, and there wasn't the information that there is now that you can find, but it wasn't until several weeks and maybe a month, in that my trainer said, Hey, Elder Barton, you're not in the United States.

Justin Barton: Stop trying to think that things should be the way that they are back home. So I love how you went in with an open mind. Hey, I'm just going to experience this and not going with an preconceived idea. How did that [00:08:00] serve you throughout your mission as things may have changed and shifted throughout your mission?

Samuel Spencer: That's a good question. I think being more open minded, I had a shift in mission presidents. So I served under President Proudfoot for , the first six months of my mission, and then President Lundin came in and I was with him the next 18 months the rest of my mission.

Samuel Spencer: In that transition, you know, there's always differences between how mission presidents do things, how they want to do things, and they'll come up with their own ideas as well, right? Especially at the beginning, they kind of start and they're trying to figure it out just as much as missionaries are and so it helped me, adjust to his expectations and where he wanted to take the mission a little easier.

Samuel Spencer: I think it really helped me serving with companions. And adjusting to different foods and different cultures, even within the same country. Not every area behaves the same [00:09:00] way, my first area was a little village. My second area was the third biggest city in Benin. My fourth area was kind of on the outskirts of Cotonou, which is kind of the economic capital.

Samuel Spencer: And my fourth sector was in a little village somewhere else, right? And so you're getting a balance there. None of them were the same, and none of the people that you teach are the same either. Everyone has their own ideas about God. And everyone has their own thoughts on what religion should look like.

Samuel Spencer: , and every companion is different too, right? And I got companions from all over the place. And so being open minded helped me to adjust to different people, different interactions that I had, different companions, different areas. different ideologies on how to do missionary work.

Samuel Spencer: I think it served me really well.

Justin Barton: It sounds like you may be naturally bent that way to being open minded or is that something that you experienced at some point and it just broke your mind open and you [00:10:00] became open minded?

Samuel Spencer: I think I'm fairly open minded. My parents both have unique backgrounds.

Samuel Spencer: My dad grew up in South America, South and Central America. And, you know, moved around a lot. My mom grew up in kind of East Coast and here. And so they themselves have different ideas about the world than someone who grew up in Utah. And so I think, some good parenting helped me to have a little more open minded, and I'm really kind of go with the flow that guy again.

Samuel Spencer: And so I think that's super helpful as well. There were adjustments that I had to make. Right. So it's not that it was just super easy. I definitely agree. Like you mentioned earlier that, you know, you had your companion who said, you know, we're not in the United States anymore.

Samuel Spencer: And I definitely [00:11:00] had moments like that where the idea that I did have that I was holding onto, it's not the same here and it does have to change. And so I don't, I guess I'm not open minded in all things. There's still a lot of work to be done, but I think generally I'm fairly open minded naturally.

Justin Barton: Yeah. So let's, let's dig on that for just a minute. What was one of those things where it was, Hey, if things are not done here the way they are in the United States and you had to really.

Samuel Spencer (2): I mean,

Samuel Spencer: I think in some ways I had to really adjust to not doing things my way, right. I like to be right. And I like to do things in the way that I want to do them. Right. And on your mission, you can't [00:12:00] do that because it's not your work. This is God's work and you have to do it his way.

Samuel Spencer: So I think that was an adjustment and that took me months to learn, tons of different companions and, tons of different experiences. And eventually I kind of figured it out, but I wish that had been something that I'd learned earlier on in my mission. I think also there's always some cultural differences between you and companions, right?

Samuel Spencer: I had a total of three companions that weren't African. So I had two Americans and then other Garcia Martinez who's from Mexico. And so, you know, culturally there's, you can't think of all of them as African, right? They all have their different personalities and you do see some trends maybe depending on where they're from, but.

Samuel Spencer: I think that was also something after, after maybe a couple of companions, I thought I'd had it figured out. And [00:13:00] then, you get something different and you have to figure it out all over again. Some of those preconceived notion I had to adjust as well.

Justin Barton: How many different nations did your companions come from and throughout your mission?

Samuel Spencer: Yeah. I have to count. I had one from Cameroon. I had a whole bunch from. RDC, so the Dominican Republic of the Congo one from Mexico, two from America and a couple, one from Nigeria as well. I think that's it, but I interacted with people from, you know, Cote d'Ivoire or Ivory Coast, sorry, in English, South Africa.

Samuel Spencer: The eastern side of Africa, a couple of those countries Canada, and of course, there's not a ton of cultural differences there, but [00:14:00] There's a Frenchman in my mission as well. So really from all over the world.

Justin Barton: That's such a cool experience that you had to experience there. So Samuel, tell me a little bit about consecration.

Justin Barton: I want to go there. You said, I wanted to consecrate myself when I got, so I set aside the The guitar and it sounds like you set it aside again later in your mission for whatever reason. Talk to me about the importance of consecration in your life and maybe a challenge or two in trying to consecrate yourself.

Samuel Spencer: Yeah. That's a really great question. I think one thing that I really struggled with on my mission, you know, coming in, you have a lot of energy and you're willing to just do everything. I didn't play guitar very much at the beginning because. You just want it to be focused I really came in, especially at the beginning with this idea of what music I was going to listen to, I was really particular about bringing music that was really uplifting to me.

Samuel Spencer: And, , spending every [00:15:00] moment that I could reading, saying the scriptures, trying to just set aside problems with companions, whatever it was, no matter how big or how small. And. No, in that way, I thought I was consecrating myself. Now, I remember reading, this was maybe a month, a month and a half into my mission.

Samuel Spencer: I remember reading the what's called the fourth missionary. I don't know if you've heard of that. It's a document that was I think it was given in a devotional one time, but two missionaries. I'm not, I don't remember. But it talks about four different types of missionaries and their level of devotion and what that looks like.

Samuel Spencer: And how, you know, the third mission is someone who gives all of his time and, and he willingly does stuff. But maybe there's a couple of things that he's holding back, right? And then I remember reading about the fourth mission and he's, it's just, he gives his all, right? And [00:16:00] there were times on my mission where I was that fourth missionary, times that I was that third missionary, right?

Samuel Spencer: I was really trying, I remember being out there and kind of it talks about goals, right? Taking your goals at home and sticking them on a shelf. And then when you get home, take them all down. Right. And I had this, you know, I had some goals for, for later in life. And I thought, okay, well, I'll just kind of stick those on a shelf mentally.

Samuel Spencer: And I remember I was biking out to sector with my companion and I stuck him on a shelf and all of a sudden I really didn't know I was out serving a mission. And so that led me, I had to like rethink that through and re to find why I was out serving a mission. Now I, I definitely didn't do it perfectly, right?

Samuel Spencer: And it was a struggle my whole mission to try and think, okay, what is it to be consecrated? And how can I do that better? I think there's also something to be said about you know, feeling like you are, you know, patting yourself on the back and rewarding yourself. Because I think at [00:17:00] times I got a little too soaked in, okay, what can I do better?

Samuel Spencer: Because I'm not good enough, right? It's not, you're not, it's not that you're not good enough, we're just trying to do the Lord's work. And so we try to do that a certain way. And but in no means is any missionary not good enough when putting in his best effort, right. Or definitely like really trying.

Justin Barton: Yeah. So, so Samuel, such a powerful concept of putting your goals on the shelf. And picking them back up when you're done. But I loved this, the story that you shared all of a sudden I went, why the heck am I here? So why were you there? What did you determine that to be in the end?

Samuel Spencer: Yeah, that's a really awesome question.

Samuel Spencer: Again I wanted to be there. What I ended up figuring out is that I wanted to be there because of the impact that the gospel has on people. [00:18:00] I had always kind of wondered, I guess, what I started doing is I started writing down a reason to be there every single day.

Samuel Spencer: So every day I just kept a little journal and every day I'd write down a different reason. I don't think it mattered if it repeated or not just that day. That was my reason to be there. I came up with a whole list, but I think the most important reason that I had to serve my mission was simply to serve other people.

Samuel Spencer: And to bring them, try and bring them the joy that the gospel had brought me and that the joy that I'd seen in other people. Right. And so I love that, that verse that you picked as well for the topic of your podcast. Can you feel so now? Because it really kind of revolves around you like, are you feeling that joy?

Samuel Spencer: And if you're feeling that joy, then. Yeah, go share it with others. And, and I remember reading another talk that was given by President Nelson in 2016 or [00:19:00] 2017. I think it was 2016 because it was before he was prophet. And he talks about how the only reason that we send out missionaries is to bring joy to other people, right?

Samuel Spencer: Because Christ loves us enough and God loves us enough that they want us to feel joy now. And living the gospel is how we feel joy. When I'm living the gospel, when I'm obeying the commandments of God, when I'm trying my best to be worthy of the temple and follow my covenants, that's when I really feel joy and I feel free.

Samuel Spencer: When I'm not doing those things, I don't feel that way. And someone who's never lived both sides of it can't see that. So I think part of our job as missionaries is to go show them what it's like to live the gospel of Jesus Christ and feel that, that freedom that it brings.

Justin Barton: That is so cool. And I love that idea of the daily journal entry.

Justin Barton: Why am I here? What is my purpose today? Why do I want to stay here? Is that something that maybe [00:20:00] was impressed on your mind from a power greater than yourself from God? Or is that something that you saw somebody else doing and you thought, man, that's a great idea. I got to do this.

Samuel Spencer: I think it was pretty God given or I mean, as missionaries, you're always encouraged to keep a journal and I think that was one of my ways of journaling, but also maybe a form of survival, right?

Samuel Spencer: Because you're tired and especially at the beginning, you're trying to get used to the schedule and you know, you're far from home and your home crosses, at least it crossed my mind often, I think. It wasn't hard to be out. It was definitely something that I'd wanted to do, but that doesn't mean it's not hard I think it was definitely impressed upon me and really grateful for the impression.

Samuel Spencer: It was really helpful as a great tool to learning about myself and learning [00:21:00] why God wanted me on a mission.

Justin Barton: And I think it's a super powerful question for anybody to ask themselves whether they're a missionary or not, you know, if I'm in a job that seems more like a trudge than whatever, but it is where I think I need to be, I need to ask myself.

Justin Barton: Why am I here? What is my purpose today? And if I can answer that question, I can go another day. And I think that's something that can be translated very easily into non missionary life. Any other thoughts on that before we move on to another question?

Samuel Spencer: Yeah. I loved how you're talking about how it's applicable to daily life now. One thing that I've tried to keep up is setting goals every week. And every day and planning out my days, and I think that's an awesome thing that I need to keep applying, right, to think about, okay, well, why am I doing this?

Samuel Spencer: Whatever's on my schedule, is it just to fill time or is it because there's an end goal in [00:22:00] mind? And it doesn't matter if that end goal is something you know, I don't know how to describe it, but like hanging out with friends, right? If that's on my schedule, Great. , that's an awesome thing.

Samuel Spencer: But then why, why am I doing it? . Is it just to, to have something to do? Or is it because I really want to build connections and grow close with people?

Samuel Spencer: . I think it really is a way to give reason to everything that you do. And , it makes life, I think it kind of feels life.

Justin Barton: I agree. And that I'm going to be a, I say that I'm going to be applying these things into my life. Am I going to do it? I hope so. But you know, just like a lot of humans, I have a.

Justin Barton: I'm a slow learner, but, but to make up for it, God's made me a fast forgetter. Good. All right, Samuel. So I love how we've gone down this road here of consecration. You mentioned, you [00:23:00] know, it's hard. Talk to me about a time when maybe you were like, I'm, I'm throwing the towel in, I'm done.

Justin Barton: I'm out of here. And what made you stay?

Samuel Spencer: So I actually had An experience right close to the end of my mission. This is about six months or so, a little less than that before I was going home. And I had a group of we call them MTs. It's just the people that I went into the MTC with and left with my mission.

Samuel Spencer: And our MT group was split. So we had a couple going home in October and a couple going home in December because we came out in November. So there's no transfer in November. So we just got split between the two and I've been scheduled to go home in December since it had been almost my whole mission and so [00:24:00] thinking with kind of that in mind I had a transfer where I had three companions in one transfer.

Samuel Spencer: One of them went home for some disciplinary stuff. One of them just had a hard time working with and the mission president decided that it would be better if we were split up, we, the work would be better. And so then I got a third companion that transferred. And right after that transfer, me and that companion ran into a situation where it wasn't a member, but the member knew this family and they lived right across the church from the church.

Samuel Spencer: And one of the boys drowned in a well. And we got there and no one in Africa knows how to do CPR. I grew up wanting to study medicine and loving Boy Scouts and stuff. And so I'd pay attention with the CPR stuff and I'm [00:25:00] medical assistant endorsed within the state of Utah. And so I'm, I'm familiar with that type of thing.

Samuel Spencer: And so watching them try and resuscitate this young man is, is hard to watch without stepping in. So I stepped in. And the moment that I felt for a pulse, I knew that he was dead and his body was super cold already. And I was super traumatic and that was really hard to, to deal with. And I think that was a point a couple of days later, I sent an email to my mission president and I asked him if I could go home in October instead of going home in December.

Samuel Spencer: And I think that was, About the closest I got to saying, all right, I'm, I'm kind of done, you know, I want to, I just want to go home. And so the question was, what helped me stay out, right? What helped me through, well [00:26:00] one of my mission president didn't give, didn't give up on me. And that was really helpful.

Samuel Spencer: He was great about communicating with me and trying to help me stay out. And you know, I have a super supportive family. And that was awesome as well. And I knew that they didn't you know, if I came home early, they'd be happy. If I stayed out, they'd be happy and they were supportive of their decision.

Samuel Spencer: But my brother's an EMT or a paramedic, but he'd been through some similar experiences. And so talking to him was really helpful. And I actually reached out and I talked to the area. Therapist. There's a mental health worker assigned to each area. I don't know how many there are exactly, but I reached out and I got in contact with her.

Samuel Spencer: I started talking to her as well. And that was really helpful. But it was another moment, I think, as well that helped. Well, that made me kind of redefine why I was there. [00:27:00] Like I had a reason to be there and then all of a sudden life was hard and it was really difficult to stay. And I had to reevaluate, you know, is that reason good enough to stay out?

Samuel Spencer: I knew that I wasn't feeling right. And so I kind of doubled down on my, on my scripture study as well. And you know, it kind of changed my perspective on life and on the mission. And I'm super glad that I stayed because a lot of those things that I've been talking about, like goal setting.

Samuel Spencer: You know, trying to do things God way instead of your own way. Those were things that clicked in those last couple months of my mission. And I've been learning about them, right? I've taken 20 months to learn about these things. But when they really clicked in was those last couple of months. And so I'm so incredibly grateful for my mission president, for everyone that was supportive.

Samuel Spencer: I had a companion who was really supportive too. And he was really [00:28:00] great. Definitely God was, really helpful and really merciful and he helped take that burden as well. And, , I have to give him credit as well for everyone that he puts in my path and everyone that was in my path and helped me to stay out.

Justin Barton: That sounds like a very traumatic, difficult experience and I'm grateful that you walked us through. That process there. As you, so you talked about that you had some medical training before your mission and you had plans of going into the medical field. Is that something that maybe that experience cemented or did it make you go?

Justin Barton: You know what, maybe I want to go in a different direction. What did that do for you as far as your goals moving forward from now?

Samuel Spencer (2): Yeah.

Samuel Spencer: I'm still pursuing that goal of going into medicine. I don't know if [00:29:00] that's the route that I'll end up taking. I'm kind of waiting and seeing what really draws my attention.

Samuel Spencer: I don't know if that particular experience had as much of an impact on what I want to do now as maybe my mission as a whole. Even going into my mission, I know I wanted to do medicine, but I didn't really have a specific field in mind.

Samuel Spencer: And what I learned is that there's so many different ways that you can help people. If I want to help people, I don't have to go medical. I would say that my mission as a whole had a greater impact on what my future decisions will be then maybe just that single moment.

Justin Barton: Very cool Alright, let's dive into one of those lessons that got cemented in the last couple months of your mission Letting God prevail doing things his way and not your way [00:30:00] what? Talk to me about the process that you went through to come to that conclusion and how you put that into practice

Samuel Spencer: Yeah one thing I guess that I struggled with my mission was working with members in Africa.

Samuel Spencer: They like to walk very slowly and I don't like to walk slowly. So I'm not the fastest walker out there, but I was much faster than most of the members. And so I kind of thought to myself, okay, well. If I need them and if people come to church, then they can meet, but maybe going on to sexual, I'll just, I'll just do it on my own because I'll save time and things like that.

Samuel Spencer: I kind of learned that that wasn't right. And I,

Samuel Spencer (2): I think in general

Samuel Spencer: I think just the whole of my mission, [00:31:00] you know, kind of watching other people and how they did missionary work and then evaluating the way that I did missionary work. And then, trying to change and trying to do things a little differently.

Samuel Spencer: Kind of that slow, long process is what eventually made me realize, all right what I'm thinking and what my ideas are, aren't nearly as important as what I'm being told, right, to do by, I preach my gospel and by my mission president. And really, it's just an act of faith because, you know, you're told these things and you really don't know if it's going to work or not.

Samuel Spencer: But in order to see if it works, you just have to apply it. And so maybe it was my lack of faith that prevented me from learning that earlier. But I think it was closer to the end of my mission where I kind of put all the pieces together and really played around with different ideas and preach my gospel and things that I kind of, I noticed some trends in [00:32:00] how missionary work went.

Samuel Spencer: When I was doing things the way that I preached my gospel said to do them and when I wasn't doing things that way. So kind of a sad way to learn because You know, evidently I, I wasn't doing it the way it should have been earlier and so I didn't see as much success because of that. But I, I think that's kind of how I did learn was by just trial and error.

Samuel Spencer: Yeah.

Justin Barton: And, and, you know, you said it's kind of a sad way to learn. I'm going to push back on that. The Lord knows when I'm ready to learn certain things. And, I can't be ready before I'm ready. I sure wish I was ready, you know, 30 years ago to learn things that I'm learning today. I wish I would have known, when I was sort of my mission that I could take it in my journal and say, why am I here today?

Justin Barton: You know, I learned that today I'm almost 50, this is great stuff. And the Lord knows when that's important for us to learn. And it. doesn't come a minute too soon or a minute too late. All right, so [00:33:00] talk to me about maybe a couple of impactful verses of scripture, maybe on your mission, maybe one that started before your mission that made you decide, okay, I'm going to serve a mission, a couple of impactful verses, and tell me about those.

Samuel Spencer (2): Yeah I think maybe one of my,

Samuel Spencer: the most impactful verses is, to me, is Mosiah. And, and I actually didn't, this is one that was maybe impactful before I left on my mission, because it's the discourse of King Benjamin when he talks about service. So this is Mosiah 2. 17 and He says, and behold, I tell you these things that you may learn wisdom, that you may learn that when you're in the service of your fellow beings, you're [00:34:00] only in the service of your God.

Samuel Spencer: And then 18, he says, behold, you have called me your king. And if I, whom you call your king, do labor to serve you, then I'm not you labor to serve one another. And the reason I, I think that this was probably the most impactful verse. It's because before my mission, I'd read this verse often, and I love this idea of, of serving others.

Samuel Spencer: That's one of the reasons that I try to stay physically fit, is because. I want to have the power to serve others in greater capacities. And, often when you're with a ward that's moving people out, or moving people in, or volunteering to do yard work for your neighbors or whatever it is.

Samuel Spencer: We, my ward did a fall and spring cleanup, right? And so often we were helping out with that and moving things. This idea of serving. One another was really helpful. I think in [00:35:00] learning that the greatest strategy to missionary work, but then also kind of being reminded of, that connection to joy, going out and helping people feel the joy of the gospel.

Samuel Spencer: Service, you get so much in return, even though service, you know, by definition, you're not being paid. There's so much that you're given mentally and spiritually, I think you're strengthened. And, you know, it was amazing to watch how people changed and how people were open when you did service for them, instead of just walking in saying hey.

Samuel Spencer: I have a message. Right? There's a big difference. And that doesn't mean that everyone you talk to who you serve is going to get baptized, but they're definitely more willing to listen. They're more willing to listen to people in the future as well.

Justin Barton: Thank you for sharing that [00:36:00] about service.

Justin Barton: Is there another verse that was impactful while you were on a mission that maybe Opened your eyes in a different way than you had ever read it before.

Samuel Spencer (2): Yeah. I mean,

Samuel Spencer: I spent a lot of time in Mosiah 18. So let me go there. I'm using right now. I'm reading from some scriptures that are in English, but I typically used French. I just have to book a Mormon. I didn't want to come on here and be using the French scriptures.

Samuel Spencer (2): There was.

Samuel Spencer: Actually, I also use Second Nephi a lot, Second Nephi 31 where they talk about Christ, and I think this was another principle that I really learned was the importance of the Holy Ghost.[00:37:00]

Samuel Spencer: And I had read over this scripture, you know,

Samuel Spencer (2): how,

Samuel Spencer: who knows how many times, because at 2nd Nephi 31, it's such a such a used scripture, right? So important to the doctrine because it outlines the gospel of Jesus Christ very simply. And then in just reading the Book of Mormon, yeah, I read through the Book of Mormon a bunch of times before I left. But when I was reading here, this is kind of the first time that I realized we are baptized in order to receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.

Samuel Spencer (2): And let me find exactly which first I'm thinking of.

Samuel Spencer: I think it was verse eight. So second, if I 31 verse eight, it says, wherefore, after he was baptized with water, the Holy Ghost descended [00:38:00] upon him in the form of the dove. And just reading that really impacted the way that I saw baptism. It wasn't just a sign between you and God, but it was a way to progress in order to receive the Holy Ghost.

Samuel Spencer: Which is then so impactful on the rest of your life is impacted by the decisions you make. So if you can make that first decision of baptism and receive the gift of the Holy Ghost and keep progressing and keep working so that you can receive a fullness of it, and access it instead of just having access to it.

Samuel Spencer: What an important piece of doctrine that is.

Justin Barton: Yeah, so teach me why that's important to me. I was baptized, what, 41 years ago? Why is that still pertinent to me today?

Samuel Spencer: Yeah this is an, I had an interesting discussion with one of my, it wasn't a [00:39:00] companion, but he was in the same apartment as me. And we, we talked a little bit about, you know, we were always trying to read books and things like that, that would kind of enlighten our understanding.

Samuel Spencer: He brought it up, he said, so are we baptized when we, when we are baptized is the gift of the Holy Ghost, something that we just receive at the same time, or is it something that's then open to us and we have to go receive. Right. And the scriptures talk about all these different witnesses.

Samuel Spencer: First, second, third witnesses of Christ and what those look like and how at some point that witnesses of physical manifestation of Christ rather than just a spiritual manifestation, right? And so we kind of discussed that, but I think it's still very pertinent in that I believe strongly that.

Samuel Spencer: One of our, you [00:40:00] know, our whole goal here is to be in the presence of the father and the son. And granted, we have mortal bodies in the Smith's experience. You know, we know that we have to be translated in order to be in their presence. But why can't that experience happen now or sooner rather than later?

Samuel Spencer: Right? I don't think there's any doctrine anywhere that says that it can't. And so our goal trying to progress and to become like Jesus Christ. That's a lifelong objective, a lifelong pursuit, and the Holy Ghost is the tool to get there. And so we need to constantly be working to have its guidance every day and constantly be trying to receive that witness of Christ.

Justin Barton: So Samuel, you've been home about a month and a half from your mission. [00:41:00] As you look at this last month and a half, what is the next big obstacle that is that you need to work on in order to become more like Christ that you're maybe looking at and going, I don't want to do that. Or maybe you're really beat.

Justin Barton: What is that obstacle in your life today?

Samuel Spencer: Well I guess an obvious one is, is marriage. We talked about marriage and setting a goal and a plan for that. And that one's not always I can't always make the decision there. But that's one thing that I'm trying to work on. But I think maybe An obstacle is really trying to stay focused on the goals that I had as a missionary.

Samuel Spencer: I think you get home, and there's a lot of stuff that kind of comes at you. Not even [00:42:00] just temptations, but just life, right? Now, instead of having to just worry about one single goal, there's so many things that are happening. You know, I have school, I have my family and I want to keep growing my relationships with them for a whole two years.

Samuel Spencer: I kind of put even my, my family on hold in a way because I was trying to focus on God's work. And I have, you know, physical goals and I have social goals and you know, before then on my mission, it's not that I didn't have social goals, but they all just kind of aligned to my purpose as a missionary.

Samuel Spencer: And now there's just so many things to focus on. It's almost like I want to just. And, and as a missionary, you know, you kind of get to that in your mission. It's like, okay, I think I'm ready to kind of take that next step back into life and get back into school and things like that.

Samuel Spencer: I'm sitting here thinking, Oh man, I want to just take a step backwards and go back to being a missionary because that was so much easier. [00:43:00] And so I think, I think trying to realize how to turn all of the things around me and make them coincide again and make them be in line, whatever I do, be in line with my goals in coming unto Christ.

Samuel Spencer: And I don't think that goal has to be any different than when I was serving a mission, right? The purpose of the mission is to help others to come into Christ. And I don't think that has to change now. But maybe the way it looks is just a little different, right? So I think trying to realize how that looks is maybe one of the biggest struggles right now.

Justin Barton: You know, you said something really interesting there, Samuel, that I think an outsider looking in is going to say, what are you talking about? You said, you know, it'd be nice to go back on my mission because it was so much easier. I mean, you just went to a foreign country, learned a language, had all sorts of hard experiences in different places.[00:44:00]

Justin Barton: And the perception of missionary life and the reality of missionary life is it's very structured. It's very hard. So as you look at that and you're in now, quote unquote, the real world, whatever that means. And you're saying, Oh, if I could just go back, it's easier there. Talk to me why you say that.

Samuel Spencer: Yeah. So I guess for anyone who isn't super familiar with the mission you can have the same schedule on a day to day basis and it doesn't really change. You're always wearing a white shirt and tie. I've never had to pick between what color shirt I wanted because they were all white. And you go out and you do the same thing every day and you don't have to worry so much about income or where you're living because the mission kind of takes care of that.

Samuel Spencer: I mean, you've saved your whole life or maybe you have some people helping you to help you pay for that mission. But for [00:45:00] those two years, there's only one thing that you really have to worry about. Missionary work that's talking to people on the streets and it's trying to help them come to a knowledge of Jesus Christ or grow closer in their relationship to him.

Samuel Spencer: And even for me, , I talked about how at the beginning of my mission, it was really hard to get into that structure and hard to be there. But once you get used to it, it's really natural and it's really normal and leaving it becomes difficult because all of a sudden there's so many different things to worry about.

Samuel Spencer: I think feeling purpose is really important for us as human beings and on a mission you know exactly what your purpose is, you know exactly where you're going and you know exactly where you want to take other people. And now I still have a general idea of what I want. But I guess saying it's a little [00:46:00] more confusing.

Samuel Spencer: There's more decisions now and I can't just wear a white shirt anymore. I have to pick between colors and I guess you could wear a white

Justin Barton: shirt everywhere, but that would be a little bit weird,

Samuel Spencer: right? That's a little strange. And so I, that was a great job of describing it, but maybe one of the other big things is that you, you know, who you are.

Samuel Spencer: And you recite your purpose often. And once you get out and you kind of question, okay, is my purpose really the same? How does that look now? And I think that makes life more difficult than anything is trying to figure out what that looks like.

Justin Barton: What do you think your purpose is today?

Samuel Spencer: Yeah, I had a really awesome discussion with a great friend just the other night and I was talking about these types of things.

Samuel Spencer: She just got back from her mission. She went to Oaxaca in Mexico and [00:47:00] one of the things that she said was, Hey, why does that have to change? And so I talked about helping people find joy right through Jesus Christ into this gospel. And it kind of struggles like, yeah, like that doesn't have to change, right?

Samuel Spencer: I can stay the same. I can keep trying to bring others joy. Through the gospel through service. Activities may look different, but the reason for doing things doesn't have to be any different. And you always. Are reminded of your identity.

Samuel Spencer: I think it's really been helpful to have a patriarchal blessing that I can go back and read. Because it reminds me of who I am. It reminds me of what God's thoughts are of me and where I'm going in my life.

Justin Barton: Before we start wrapping up with closing questions, is there anything else that's like the Lord's put on your heart that is like, I need to share this while we're here that you want to share?

Samuel Spencer: Yeah. I think maybe the one thing that I would like to make very [00:48:00] clear is I've talked about some difficult experiences and You know, at one point wanting to come home, but I wouldn't trade my mission for the world. It's by far the most important and life changing experience that I've had.

Samuel Spencer: Even though it was hard I'd especially want people that I know, like my little siblings, to know that there isn't anything that I'd exchange it for, and how impactful it is on who I am today and where I'm going with my life.

Justin Barton: Beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. Wrap up questions here.

Justin Barton: As we both referred to earlier, this project is called, can you feel so now based on Alma 526, which reads, and now behold, I say unto you, if you have experienced a change of heart and have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can you feel so now? You and I, we've talked about that change of heart here.

Justin Barton: Is there anything else about change of heart in your personal experience that you'd like to touch on? [00:49:00]

Samuel Spencer: Yeah, I think change of heart can also just be. You know, maybe you're not happy with where you're at now, or, or, you know, that something is you want to go somewhere and I kind of thought about some admission to maybe sometimes I didn't have the desire to be consecrated, or as consecrated as I should have been, but I can have the desire to have desire, right?

Samuel Spencer: And I think the closer I come to having the desire, the closer I have to be coming, right? So I, I think Yeah. Maybe that can you feel so now that change of heart for anyone out there who's, who's wanting to change that change can start just having the desire to have the desire to have the desire right.

Samuel Spencer: To want the change.

Justin Barton: So I love that. The desire to have the desire, pray for that desire. To have the desire. However long it takes to get a little bit closer. Right. Love it. All right. Have you felt to sing the Song of Redeeming Love? What does that mean to you to sing the song of Redeeming love [00:50:00] Samuel?

Samuel Spencer: I think that song is. A song of wanting to help others and wanting myself to grow closer to Jesus Christ and to really know his love for us individually and collectively. I'd say however you can share that love. I think that's, yeah, I've desired that.

Justin Barton: You share that with people. Yeah, thank you for sharing that.

Justin Barton: Now let's jump in a time machine. Let's jump ahead 15 years from now. You're done with all your schooling, you're, whatever you are, wherever you are in life 15 years from now. And we jump out of this time machine, you and I are sitting there and we find you sitting at your kitchen table and you're just like, Man, life is hard.

Justin Barton: Things are not going the way I think I feel disconnected. Sit down with yourself 15 years from now and [00:51:00] teach yourself what he needs to do. Yeah,

Samuel Spencer: I, I tell him to take all of those worries, maybe those struggles and write them down and be very clear with his thoughts and feelings, and then go look in the scriptures and see how Christ addresses those because he does address them and It just takes a little reminder to be reminded of that and to remember how much he knows us and loves us and how much our Heavenly Father loves us and how that little act can take him so far, especially if he continues to act on it.

Samuel Spencer: And act according to the covenants that he's made.

Justin Barton: Another amazing exercise that I've never thought of doing. Write them down, take them to the scriptures, see where Christ addresses them. Love it. Alright, so before we close up, I'd like to invite you to bear testimony, in French, if you're willing, of [00:52:00] whatever principles you find most important.

Justin Barton: Merci beaucoup. Je

Samuel Spencer: suis vraiment reconnaissant pour cette occasion de rendre mon témoignage. I think that maybe the only thing I want to give my testimony about is Jesus Christ. And I just gave my testimony about him and his love for the world and for all of us. But I also want to give my testimony that he knows each of us personally.

Samuel Spencer: He knows our worries and our difficulties and he wants to relieve us.[00:53:00]

Samuel Spencer: Before.

Justin Barton: Amen. Merci beaucoup. Appreciate it, man. This is such a good conversation. It was so meaningful for me. I took so much out of it. I hope it was meaningful for you too, Samuel.

Samuel Spencer: Thank you so much. I appreciate being able to look back on my mission

Justin Barton: and

Samuel Spencer: reflect on it this way.

Justin Barton: So super [00:54:00] helpful.