Rachel Stumm CYFSN

Justin Barton: [00:00:00] Welcome to the Can You Feel So Now podcast. I'm Justin Barton and I'm really excited to sit down with one of my favorite people in the whole world, Rachel Stumm, to discuss her mission that she recently returned from. . So let's get into this. Rachel, why don't you tell us just a little bit about yourself, where you're from, a little bit about your family and some of the hobbies you have.

Rachel Stumm: Well, I'm from Spokane, Washington. My name is Rachel Stumm, and in terms of hobbies, it's really hard to say at this point, because for the past 18 months or so, hobbies have not really been much of a thing, but I love doing family history work. That's something that I loved before the mission and during the mission, and it's something that I'm continuing now.

Justin Barton: What about family history work intrigues you?

Rachel Stumm: Honestly, I don't really know exactly what the bowl [00:01:00] is. I just have always felt that I've been called to do that work. And so I've always been eager to go to the temple and to do that work for those who can't do it themselves. And I just feel needed there.

Justin Barton: It's really neat. What does that mean to you to feel needed in that area? How does that manifest in you?

Rachel Stumm: Oh,

Rachel Stumm: I guess when it comes to missionary work as a whole, there's a lot of aspects in that. And I know family history is something that I love to do. It brings me a lot of joy and it's something that I'm good at as well. And so I feel useful and I feel like God is able to use. my gifts, my talents, and my desires in that way to do his work.

Justin Barton: Thank you for sharing that, [00:02:00] Rachel. So tell us a little bit about your mission, where were you called to serve? What were the dates and what did that look like? How did that evolve over your mission?

Rachel Stumm: That is a great question because there was a lot of evolving involved in this. So I was called originally to the Michigan Lansing mission and I, Was set apart May 21st.

Rachel Stumm: Of 2023. . And I served there for about the first year of my mission. And then on July 1st is when I transferred home to serve the remainder of my mission as a service missionary. And So those next five and a half months, I served there and I finished my service on December 18th.

Rachel Stumm: of 2024. All right, we'll walk

Justin Barton: a little bit through that [00:03:00] process and the evolution of that, but I'd like you to speak just a little bit about when you received your mission call to Lansing, Michigan. Tell me what your expectations were and the emotions you had at that point.

Rachel Stumm: Well, I had a lot of time to think before I got my call because it took nine weeks.

Rachel Stumm: In between when I sent my favors in and when I got my call. And so I had a lot of time to think about what I wanted. Cause that was the most common question that I would get is where do you want to go? And the most obvious answer is where God wants me. And then you're like yeah, that's cool. But like really, where do you want to go?

Rachel Stumm: And. I flip flopped a lot. I'm like, I want to go foreign. I don't want to speak another language. Please. But that's beyond me. Let me stay stateside speaking English and all of that. And the funny thing is, at the time, I was like, [00:04:00] I do not want to serve a service mission. I was really close with the service missionaries.

Rachel Stumm: And I loved the idea of it, but just the thought of staying home and serving in that capacity, I just didn't want to do it. But when I eventually got my call I opened it when I was at Work, , as soon as I got it, I opened it. And when it said Michigan Lansing Mission, English speaking, I was confused at first.

Rachel Stumm: I was like, Not what I was expecting, and again, I had a lot of time to think about what I wanted, and so the fact that I wasn't expecting it was, , it took me off guard, but as I had time to look into Michigan and everything I ended up being really excited about it, and I have friends that I bonded with from Spokane, his name's Lane Guerin, and we went to the same mission at the same time, and so we got to [00:05:00] Be really excited about that together.

Justin Barton: Oh, that's super cool. , But very cool that you had somebody to bond with over that commonality.

Justin Barton: Let's talk a little bit about why you decided to serve a mission, Rachel. What was it and when was it in your life that you're like, I am going to serve a mission?

Rachel Stumm: At first, growing up, I did not think I would serve a mission. I remember in primary, the teachers would be like, raise your hand if you're going to serve a mission.

Rachel Stumm: And I never raised my hand, partially because I'm like, what are you asking me to do? I don't know what this is. Then it was I don't know, around the time that I was graduating high school, that my grandparents were pushing it a little bit saying, Rachel you'd be a really good missionary, you should think about serving a mission and looking into it, I started to get really excited about it, but [00:06:00] ultimately, one of the main reasons that I made that choice was I had been told by the Anyone who is mission basically that it would prepare me for the future for future family, and I've always been Very focused on that.

Rachel Stumm: I've always wanted to be a mom and so Knowing that it would prepare me better and faster than anything really motivated me and I searched for that answer because a lot of other missionaries they get that Revelation of you will serve a mission. I never got that. I prayed for that answer a lot. And eventually, it was just, Alright, Lord, I'm gonna do this.

Rachel Stumm: If it's wrong, stop me. Cause,, I'm gonna assume that this is the right choice.

Justin Barton: Yeah, I love that willingness [00:07:00] and courage, really, to step out and do that. That word when I said it out loud courage really rang out to me So I'm gonna sit there for just a minute.

Justin Barton: Talk to me the role of courage what role did courage have in your mission from beginning to the end?

Rachel Stumm: I love that at first if we think about where a comfort zone is and all pretty much heard that missionary work is hard and It takes you out of your comfort zone so if courage is in relation to that, at first, I really thought, oh, it's going to be hard talking to people and being rejected all of those classic hard things as a missionary.

Rachel Stumm: At the very beginning of my mission, , it happened very quickly that I realized [00:08:00] that what was hard was unique to me, and it wasn't any different than what I was struggling with before the mission. So courage for me, from beginning to end, I learned how it's really a willingness to let God prevail, which is not as easy as it might seem.

Rachel Stumm: Because we have a lot of good desires, and I had this image of myself that I wanted to be by the end of my mission, and that person, that Rachel, was someone who had overcome the struggles that I've been dealing with. I've dealt with mental health my whole life, and struggles with ADHD, and I thought the mission is going to help me overcome this.

Rachel Stumm: It [00:09:00] was around that year mark that I realized that I was still struggling with that and my companion at the time. She helped lead me to getting the answer of transferring to the service mission I don't know, that's one of the most important lessons that I learned from my mission is how the person who God needs me to be isn't necessarily the image that I have in my mind.

Rachel Stumm: Because I still struggle with those things, but somehow it's not interfering with my life as much as it used to. And not because of anything that I did, but because I've learned to trust God and to give him everything of me instead of just,. It's about giving all of our desires, not just the [00:10:00] bad desires, but all of it.

Rachel Stumm: And that takes courage.

Justin Barton: Man, and I love that definition of courage. Willingness to let God prevail in our lives equals courage. So you walked through a couple of those situations of letting God prevail. You mentioned that after a year, you had a companion who helped you make the decision, Hey, let's transition to a service mission here.

Justin Barton: Talk to me about the courage and the humility that took to make that transfer, because it sounds like that was a really hard decision. You didn't want to do that at the beginning. So let's talk about that a little bit.

Rachel Stumm: Well, I was very blessed, but I know that I needed to be in Michigan for the time that I was.

Rachel Stumm: Because the thought of transferring to service mission, for some reason, never entered my mind until I was having a conversation with my companion. And then. I don't [00:11:00] know how it was brought up, but I just felt so much peace. With that, and it was over that next week or two that I got that confirmation that I should transfer, and how I got that answer, going back to that humility that was needed, I was promised in a blessing that I would be , certain whether to transfer home or not, and so I searched and I waited for that answer, Even though I knew what was going to happen, I knew that I needed that confirmation.

Rachel Stumm: But there's still all these other aspects. Like I'm not certain about leaving the people that I love in Michigan. I'm not certain about what it's going to look like when I get home. I'm not certain about this or that. And it was one night that I was [00:12:00] reading in the Bible the story of Peter walking on water.

Rachel Stumm: And as I was reading it Peter, when he looks away from Jesus, that's when he starts to sink, when he gets distracted by the storm. And the Spirit spoke very strongly to me that I am certain about Jesus Christ. I'm not certain about anything else.

Rachel Stumm: Just getting the answer to transfer home, I knew it didn't mean that I would have an easy mission for those next six months. I wasn't certain about a lot of things, but I was certain about Jesus Christ. I was very blessed with humility at that time, but I needed it in order to receive and act on that answer because.

Rachel Stumm: It's very open ended, and there's a lot of uncertainty, but knowing that I was certain in Jesus Christ made it [00:13:00] all possible for me to move forward with Him.

Justin Barton: Let's talk about certainty and uncertainty for just a minute, Rachel. Throughout your life, has being certain about things before taking steps been something that's been super important to you?

Justin Barton: Or have you been comfortable walking into the uncertainty,

Rachel Stumm: yes and no. I think that

Rachel Stumm: Getting a clear answer in many aspects was hard. We often hear about the question of, is it the spirit or is it just me? And often how people respond to that question is, oh, well, if it's good, it's of God. And , yes, what about these other decisions that are extremely important, but , they're all good?

Rachel Stumm: How do I get my answer? And I didn't know how to recognize those answers and just [00:14:00] taking me deciding to serve a mission, like I didn't get a clear answer. And so I acted on it and I wasn't certain about anything, but I just put one foot in front of the other. And it was different than that kind of my decision to transfer home.

Justin Barton: Because you found a certainty in Jesus Christ, right?

Rachel Stumm: Right.

Justin Barton: Is that when you found that certainty? Is it that moment, or was that something that kind of grew and you had an experience earlier on your mission maybe where you're like Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life and there is no doubt about that?

Rachel Stumm: Certainly. I like to tell people, before my mission I dealt in extremes. I had extreme highs and extreme lows, and those extreme highs felt really nice, and I felt really close to God, but a lot of it was very circumstantial with what was [00:15:00] happening around me. And then I started my mission, and something happened that I was not expecting at all, is those extreme highs went away.

Rachel Stumm: And for a huge chunk of that year, I felt quite alone. I knew God, and I knew that he was there, but for the most part, I couldn't feel it. I couldn't really get those answers that I was looking for. And , it gave me that time to realize how incapable I am on my own.

Rachel Stumm: So it wasn't a certain event, but over time, , I came to learn. That I couldn't do these things on my own and I learned how to trust myself as well with making the right decisions and recognizing if it was right or wrong, regardless of whether I got a clear [00:16:00] answer or not.

Justin Barton: K, so you said, I realized that I was Incapable of doing these things on my own. When that realization hit, was that like a crushing blow or was that like a hallelujah, someone else , can do this for me.

Rachel Stumm: I'm certainly a bit of both it wasn't necessarily a super joyful experience, but it wasn't depressing. It was hopeful. It was hope and humility, like extreme humility. Knowing that I had a savior and I had someone to rely on made it a happy thing But it was certainly something that made me realize how small I was but in a good way,

Justin Barton: Yeah how did you know at that moment that you could rely on your savior?

Justin Barton: Was capable of doing these things that you are incapable of doing. How did you know that and have that trust?

Rachel Stumm: honestly, I don't know [00:17:00] because trust is something built over time and I don't necessarily remember a certain event happening because to trust I, I had to act it's those moments where you are uncertain and you decide, well, I don't have a good answer. And so I'm going to make this little decision to trust.

Rachel Stumm: Making those decisions over and over again. Helped me to be certain, knowing that the outcome would be something better than I could ever expect. Cause again, I had this image of what I wanted and what I thought my mission was going to be. But when I trusted things turned out better than I could expect.

Rachel Stumm: And so even now, when they're. Moments of uncertainty, I have full confidence [00:18:00] that God will make it better than I expect if I trust in him.

Justin Barton: Give me an example of a time when practicing that trust made things turn out better than you ever expected

Rachel Stumm: I think one of the big ones that I can think of right now was my decision to go back to school. Because it was not , in my original plan to. But I remember, towards the end of my mission that I was in the temple, and I got that answer about going back to school.

Rachel Stumm: And up until that point, I had no idea what I was going to do, what my plan was after the mission, because I wasn't really planning on going back to school. But When I got that answer, I recognized it because it was the same feeling that I [00:19:00] got when I made the decision to transfer to the service mission.

Rachel Stumm: And again, everything about it was uncertain. School before the mission, it didn't turn out very well. And I was certainly nervous. And I didn't really want to go back to school at that point, especially not two and a half weeks after I finished my mission, I knew that answer came from God, and that whatever I had planned for after my mission I knew that following through exactly on what God tells me to do it's already turned out really wonderful, and there's still a lot of anxiety about it, [00:20:00] but I knew I could press forward, because I had already made that decision to trust.

Justin Barton: Beautiful. So Rachel you said that you're sitting in the temple and this answer came, Hey, go back to school. Was in that answer also the direction to take in school, or is it just go back to school and get things started?

Rachel Stumm: Well, an important aspect of both the decision to transfer to the service mission and decision to. Go back to school. God made it very clear to me that it was my decision. When I say he told me like, you should do this or whatnot, that's the closest I could get to what he really said, but he made it my decision.

Rachel Stumm: And so when it came to What I was gonna do at school. I wasn't really given any direction on that, but [00:21:00] I found something that I am following through with right now. I have no idea what will come of it if I'll continue on this major or whatnot, but pretty much , the only direction that I specifically got from God was to go back to BYU Idaho winter semester and he made certain to me that it was my decision to do it,

Justin Barton: yeah. The thought that comes to mind is the line from lead kindly light a hymn one step enough for me. Is that kind of the direction you're taking on this? I'll just take one step at a time and that's enough.

Justin Barton: I don't need to see the distance.

Rachel Stumm: Yes, definitely. Especially since I can get really caught up in Thinking about the future because again from a pretty young age, I've always wanted to be a mom. And so I've always been looking forward to [00:22:00] that.

Rachel Stumm: And so it's been really nice that from my mission, I learned to. Walk blindly.

Justin Barton: . Now let's go back to the decision that you made to transfer to the service mission. What were some of the things you did once you got back to Spokane and started your service mission and how have those maybe continued to prepare you for these next steps in your life?

Rachel Stumm: Well, the transition was really rough. There is something in Adjusting to Missionary Life that says it takes about six weeks to adjust to your new environment. I didn't read that until after the fact, but it was looking back, I was like that was six weeks of intense anxiety and all those things I was still struggling with in Michigan.

Rachel Stumm: But somehow at that six week mark, I fell into a [00:23:00] groove and whatnot. And , I redefined what missionary work is for me, especially proselyting, it's very clear what your purpose is and what you're supposed to be doing day to day. But on a service mission, it's very much governed by your agency and what you decide to do.

Rachel Stumm: And when I transferred home, I had no idea what I was doing. And so I still had this image of what missionary work should look like. And so I would go out with the sisters, go to lessons and all of that. But , that was one of the reasons that I needed to transfer home. And then it was when I rediscovered family history work that things started to go a lot smoother because I realized that.

Rachel Stumm: That was a huge part of my mission, was the temple, serving as a worker and [00:24:00] serving there as a patron, . And I just had come to realize that, , that my purpose, my mission, is very individual. And I don't have to fit myself in a box that is made for someone else, because we all have a work to do.

Rachel Stumm: And , the one that we think for ourselves and what is supposed to be done, God usually has a different idea that is, is even better. And because of that I was able to transition into normal life so much better. I was able to use my agency in my mission to, to do things that felt right. And That brought me joy, because missionary work is very joyful, it's supposed to be.

Rachel Stumm: And [00:25:00] because of that, I was able to continue to serve, even after I was released. The day after I was released, I had a full day of service. And even now in Rexburg, I've been going to the temple multiple times a week to do ordinance work. And I attribute a lot of that to my service mission, because.

Rachel Stumm: It helped me to make choices better and to be confident in that.

Justin Barton: So I've got a couple things I want to hit on from what you shared there. You said I redefined missionary work from proselyting to, and then you talked about family history, going to the temple.

Justin Barton: Is that what missionary work then became defined as, or was there a different definition that family history work and temple work fit into under that umbrella? Does that make sense?

Rachel Stumm: Yeah [00:26:00] I

Rachel Stumm: don't know if I have a really good answer for that, like, defining what missionary work is, and partially that's because I can only really define what it is for me.

Justin Barton: Yeah, define what it is for you. Yeah, give me that definition.

Rachel Stumm: There's a few thoughts. I realized that the light that I have to shine, isn't supposed to feel unnatural. And just because the things that I was doing was natural and in a way easy doesn't mean that it wasn't work. And so at least for me, I realized that truly being an example of a disciple of Jesus Christ was missionary work.

Rachel Stumm: That I didn't need to force myself to go out [00:27:00] of my way to have a gospel conversation because I've been very blessed with the ability to be real with people to be genuine When I was trying to force myself because that's what I thought I was supposed to do I was taking away that gift that God gave me I was ignoring that And by the end of my mission, I realized that I just naturally do that work.

Rachel Stumm: I administer and testify in a way that I don't even realize is missionary work. And that's what it became for me, is I will continue to follow my savior and to do the things that I know will bring me closer to him. Using those gifts to love others and [00:28:00] minister and testify in ways that feel natural and doing work that,

Rachel Stumm: it just all felt natural to me.

Justin Barton: Rachel you are really opening my eyes to some things, and I really appreciate this conversation here. The other part that I want to dig in is you mentioned the concept of agency within missionary work, that you have the choice to do the things that I think you use the word that come naturally to your own strengths.

Justin Barton: Talk to me more about agency and why it took you 20 years basically to come to that point that, Hey, agency is something that lets me do the things that helped me magnify the gifts God has given me.

Rachel Stumm: Yes. Whenever I talk about the service mission, that's something I love to emphasize, like the blessings of the service mission is when you're on proselyte mission, there's a lot of accountability [00:29:00] involved there.

Rachel Stumm: And very much your life is not your own. Nothing you have is your own. And you have a companion with you. You have people checking up. And then on the service mission, especially those first six weeks, I was like, someone tell me what to do. I don't really know what to do. And it was throughout my mission that I learned the joy of making choices and the joy of using my agency.

Rachel Stumm: There's a scripture that I've come to love, because I've pondered about it a lot. It's the one that mentions You're saved by grace after all you can do. And I've always wondered about how that works what does that mean? And I realized that what it truly means, at least for me, is God would not dare [00:30:00] to take away that right from us to, to make those choices because he knows that true joy comes from making choices.

Rachel Stumm: That's why we're here. And so he wouldn't dare take away that right from us to do what we can do. It was because of that I was able to learn these lessons, and for a lot of my mission, I felt like I was wasting God's time, and I wasn't making the best of it, most of it, but after the fact, if I didn't have those moments where I felt like I was doing nothing, then I wouldn't have truly experienced the joy of making those choices and getting to that point.

Rachel Stumm: That I was close to God in that way through my agency.

Justin Barton: So Rachel, it sounds like you've come to a place where you have some grace with yourself, like saying, you know what, maybe I'm not [00:31:00] perfect, but that's okay. God loves me. I love me. I'm okay with that. Have you also been able to come to a place to have grace for others who may be falling short?

Rachel Stumm: I would say so.

Rachel Stumm: I think I give others grace a lot sooner than I give myself grace, especially since. Having companions on the mission. There are a lot of moments where you get annoyed with them and I certainly had those moments. There's one companion in particular that I'm thinking of that there are things that she would do that weren't exactly the healthiest but she would always come and say sorry and she would be so down on herself and I saw myself in her

Rachel Stumm: but I knew where her heart was. Like, I knew that those things that she did [00:32:00] weren't a reflection of who she was. And so there was never a moment when I held that against her. Because I knew what she wanted.

Rachel Stumm: And I knew that she wanted to be better. And I think that's always been a lot easier for me, but giving that same grace to myself took a lot longer.

Justin Barton: With that giving grace to yourself taking a lot longer how do you do that even today? You're now a month post mission, you're at school, you're with new roommates I presume people maybe you've never met before how do you now? Give yourself grace in difficult situations.

Justin Barton: Even today,

Rachel Stumm: it's a really good question because sometimes I wonder that myself, but I think ultimately [00:33:00] what I do is in those moments when I make mistakes and I would normally start beating myself up a lot, I , let go of all of that and focus on my savior.

Rachel Stumm: I don't truly know how to explain it, but because I don't know, before the mission thing, like, Oh, I just trust my savior. Like, great. That sounds nice. How do I do that? But it really feels like that where I am more confident in myself and where my heart is because I let go of everything, give it to my savior.

Rachel Stumm: And the person who I want to be is far more aligned now with the person who God wants me to be, and [00:34:00] I've come to understand the need for those struggles and how that doesn't define me. And repentance is needed, but repentance is also that turning to God. And I don't always need to I can be so down on myself because repentance is joyful, repentance is hopeful.

Rachel Stumm: And so in those moments I let go and I. I have hope in my savior.

Justin Barton: Okay, Rachel. So what the heck does that look like to let go of everything and have hope in your savior? Do you have like maybe a prayer, some specific words you say, or think in that moment where you let go and just, here you go, Jesus have it.

Rachel Stumm: I'd like to give them a really clear answer for that. Cause I don't know, for [00:35:00] a lot of things I feel like Like Gollem be like, my precious, whenever I have a good moment, I'm like, how do I keep it? And I realized now that was an aspect of pride in me. And so in a way, now I learned not to try to make a formula for things.

Rachel Stumm: But sometimes when I try to make this formula to get this end product this humility, giving it to God, I lose the spirit of it. And so it's a very spiritual feeling that I've been able to practice over the course of my mission.

Rachel Stumm: And so now it's something that I just, again, I wish I could give a really clear answer to [00:36:00] that. But in a way, it's just something that I do. And it's something I'm going to be continuing to learn how to do for a while.

Justin Barton: You know as you're talked through this and you said something early on in this conversation everything good and bad not just the bad I'm giving every good to God too,

Justin Barton: and as you've walked through this the thing that has come to my mind is the concept and the law of Consecration does that make sense to you?

Rachel Stumm: Yeah, definitely

Justin Barton: So talk to me about your understanding, well, let's put it in those words and talk about consecration for me and your understanding of that.

Justin Barton: Well,

Rachel Stumm: with consecration, we often associate sacrifice and consecration together. Sacrifices is like sacrificing on the altar completely giving up those things that God requires of us and whatnot. But consecration is that Letting God use us. So [00:37:00] consecrating our time, consecrating our talents. And , my mind again goes back to the fact that we're giving up all of our desires, the good and the bad. And by consecrating ourselves. We're letting go of everything that we want or think we are going to have in the future.

Rachel Stumm: And I guess it's through consecrating myself, that I've learned to take it one step at a time and not focus so much on down the line, which is a fantasy. It hasn't happened yet, and I know it's not gonna be how it's gonna end up necessarily, but by consecrating myself, I just focus on the now, focus [00:38:00] on what I have to give, and who I am, and what matters most.

Rachel Stumm: It's a very grounding kind of feeling,

Justin Barton: rachel, you are so full of wisdom, and that's something that I'm seeing develop before my eyes here, honestly. You, like I mentioned at the get go, you've always been one of my favorites, and I really appreciate that, but I'm watching wisdom just spew out of you like crazy, and I'm loving it.

Justin Barton: Thank you so much for teaching me in these things, Rachel. I'd never made those connections. Before we start winding things up, is there anything else that was on your mind or is on your heart currently that you're like, I really want to say something about this in this recording?

Rachel Stumm: Obviously there's so much from my mission, but there's nothing that comes to mind. that I feel like I need to say.

Justin Barton: Okay. So this project is called Can You Feel So Now? And it's based [00:39:00] on Alma chapter five, verse 26.

Justin Barton: And it reads, and now behold, I say unto you, if you have experienced a change of heart, and if you have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can you feel so now? So Rachel, have you experienced a change of heart? And if so, what does that look like?

Rachel Stumm: Definitely. , Before my mission, I experienced the extreme highs, extreme lows, and it was all circumstantial.

Rachel Stumm: I made choices, but it was based off of what was happening in my life. But because of my mission, everything's mellowed out a lot. That's because I've learned how to choose my savior. And in terms of that change of heart. I've changed from a state of being acted upon to a state of acting for myself to choose and [00:40:00] it's because of that, that I feel so much joy, not in the sense of the extreme highs like a sugar high, but extreme joy in the way of It being lasting and one that I can take comfort and trust in.

Justin Barton: Yeah, that kind of reminds me of the quote, that President Nelson said a few years back, that joy in our lives has little to do with the circumstances in our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives.

Rachel Stumm: Yeah, absolutely.

Justin Barton: All right, the next part of this question, and if you have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, what in the heck does that mean? What does singing the song of redeeming love look like in your life?

Rachel Stumm: That's a good question. I

Rachel Stumm: think because of the humility I've developed, because I've realized how much I truly need my Savior, I've been a lot more grateful, moment to moment, and have that desire to share it [00:41:00] with others. And Jesus Christ has redeemed me and

Rachel Stumm: I love how it's related to song in that verse because something I like to say is that , the language of the spirit doesn't translate well into English or any other earthly language. And I've come to realize that art That music is possibly the closest language that we have to the language of the spirit here on earth.

Rachel Stumm: And I love that it's related to that, because when you feel that much joy, you can't begin to put it into words. Song would be the best way to describe The expression of joy in what Jesus Christ has done for me, how he has redeemed me.

Justin Barton: Beautiful. I love how you [00:42:00] explain that. So last bit here, without going into fantasy and future tripping, what we're going to do, Rachel, is you and I, we're going to get in a time machine.

Justin Barton: We're going to go ahead together. Ten years into the future, and whatever your life looks like ten years in the future, one day at a time, you're getting there, and it's where it is. But you're really struggling. You're like, I'm not feeling God. I'm not feeling this right now. What I'd like to invite you to do,

Justin Barton: is sit down across the table from yourself, and share with yourself, , to figure out what changed. Why can't you feel so now? And invite yourself to reach back and feel that again.

Rachel Stumm: I would explain or invite her to the holdout faithful and to do the things that she can do.

Rachel Stumm: It's really easy to get caught up in the things that perhaps God has asked of us that feels incapable for us to [00:43:00] do, but starting small, holding out faithful just by doing it. Doing what you can do, moment to moment, knowing that there is joy coming, and whatever has happened in our lives, I know that God compensates us for it through our faith, and it's because of faith that we are able to connect with God, and sometimes that faith perpetuates us for a long time without experiencing those

Rachel Stumm: blessings that we're looking for, but I certainly felt that I have when I was in Michigan,

Rachel Stumm: [00:44:00] trying to be faithful, trying to hold out, but for the longest time, not feeling someone on the other side helping me. But it was through other people, through my companions, through just not giving up, that I was able to one day finally receive that joy and grow closer to God in that way. And I've no doubt that I'll be experiencing , that kind of thing sometime in the future again, but I would simply invite her to do what she can do, to not give up, because.

Rachel Stumm: If you give up, then Satan wins no matter what you've done up until that point.

Justin Barton: Thank you so much, Rachel. One last request, , would you mind bearing testimony to close this [00:45:00] out?

Rachel Stumm: I'd love to.

Rachel Stumm: I feel like I've been testifying this whole time, but obviously there's so much more to my testimony. I know my Savior, Jesus Christ, and I've come to realize that over the course of my mission. And because I know Jesus Christ, I know that the Book of Mormon is the Word of God, because I recognize Him in it.

Rachel Stumm: I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet of the Restoration, and I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints is God's church on the earth, restored, because I know Jesus Christ. I know

Rachel Stumm: with all of my being that God loves us, He is always there, because I've had a lot of moments of doubt [00:46:00] and waiting in my life, but without fail, I've been able to look back and see that he was there the whole time. And so I know that my savior is always there and that I'm precious to him

Rachel Stumm: and he never puts me second place on his list of things he needs to do not just in the back of his mind, but he's actively serving me. And I know that to be true. I know

Rachel Stumm: that through my faith,

Rachel Stumm: through my trust in him, I will have a future greater than

Rachel Stumm: what I can ever imagine for myself now. And I have high expectations, but I know that [00:47:00] my brain cannot even begin to comprehend the joy that I have in store for me in the future. I know that

Rachel Stumm: That our faith is so important.

Rachel Stumm: That truly is the foundation of my testimony is that God loves us. Everything that he does, everything that he will do, everything he has done. is because he loves us and I can take comfort and be sure, be certain in that no matter what happens in my life. And I know that's true for everyone because we're all his children and he loves all of us and he is capable, somehow he is capable of putting every single one of us first [00:48:00] individually.

Rachel Stumm: And I want what he wants. And I love my Savior. And I say that in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Justin Barton: Amen. Rachel, thank you so much. You have taught me, you have lifted me, and I hope that this has been helpful and meaningful for you too.