CYFSN Lilly Taylor

Justin Barton: [00:00:00] Welcome to the Can You Feel so now? Podcast, I'm Justin Barton, and once again, I am spoiled rotten to be able to sit with amazing young men and young women who have recently returned from their missions and just share experience and lessons learned and just really cool things. And today I'm sitting with somebody I've never met, in fact, the person who introduced us to somebody that both of us know almost nothing about.

Justin Barton: But I'm so grateful to be able to sit here with Lilly Taylor. And get to know her just a little bit and talk about her mission. Lilly, why don't you introduce yourself. Tell me just a little bit about your family, where you're from, and some things that you enjoy doing in your life.

Lilly Taylor: Awesome. I'd love that. First, thanks for letting me be on here.

Lilly Taylor: So I am from Draper, Utah. I grew up with two brothers, have a great family raised in the gospel. I'm currently at UVU going to school. Going for nursing with is exciting. But I grew up going outside with [00:01:00] my family. We love water skiing and snow skiing. I love playing the guitar, especially with my dad

Justin Barton: that's awesome. Thank you, Lilly, for introducing yourself. Tell me a little bit about your mission. Where were you assigned to serve and what were the dates that you were there?

Lilly Taylor: I. Yeah, so I served in the Alabama Birmingham mission. I served from July of 2023 until December of 2024. So I just recently got back about a month and a half ago, almost two months.

Lilly Taylor: But I served in like the panhandle of Florida and then up in the northern part of Alabama and then back down to the south.

Justin Barton: Very cool. Thanks for introducing me to your mission to date served and everything. So, let's actually go into you going to school to be a nurse. What made you decide to do that? Is that something you decided before your mission, while you're on your mission? Have things changed over the last, two years that you've been preparing for and serving?

Lilly Taylor: I have always wanted to be in healthcare.

Lilly Taylor: I grew up wanting to [00:02:00] be a surgeon, wanna be a doctor. Safe to say it that much schooling is not for me. And so I was trying to figure out a new route to take that would still get me in the medical field. And it was while I was on my mission that I decided nursing was the way that I wanted to go.

Lilly Taylor: So I love kids. Kids are like my world and so I really wanna be a pediatric nurse. And so that's something I started to think a lot about about halfway through my mission. And then when I started preparing to go back to school and I got my dad to start registering me for classes. I told him that that was the route I wanted to take.

Lilly Taylor: And of course my parents were super supportive

Justin Barton: did you have an experience on your mission with maybe kids that directed you towards pediatrics or, or why pediatrics?

Lilly Taylor: All growing up, I just have absolutely adored kids. And I was a nanny before The mission on the mission was hard 'cause you had to be very about how you were around kids and everything.

Lilly Taylor: And so it was really hard 'cause I just wanted to hang out with the kids and sometimes I was like, [00:03:00] okay, I just wanna leave the parents and just go and play. But I really loved the opportunity that I had to help kids, especially when we were teaching families. And just seeing the different situations that people were in.

Lilly Taylor: It wasn't always the best situation. Of course not everybody lives in this perfect home, or there's perfect family and perfect health and all these things. But it was amazing as a missionary being able to help families and help kids. And then I was trying to figure out a way to bring that home, and I said to go home that, Hey, how can I continue helping kids even though they won't always have the best circumstances?

Lilly Taylor: What can I do on my part? And pediatric nursing is what I feel the way to do that.

Justin Barton: Very cool. So Lilly, twice now in this conversation. You mentioned your dad, you love to play guitar with your dad and your dad helped you get your papers going into to college . Talk to me a little bit about your relationship with your dad and why you've brought him up twice already in this [00:04:00] conversation.

Lilly Taylor: Oh, that's a good question. I do love my dad. He is my, my best friend. Some of my most fond memories are with my dad. He is always been a really great example to me. All growing up when I did start first playing guitar, we would sit outside on the front porch, eating watermelon and playing our guitars together.

Lilly Taylor: And I really just admire him in so many different ways. The way that he treats my mom is amazing. The way treats others I don't know, just the little memories that I have of like walking into their room when it's, when they're getting ready for bed and I just turn the corner and I see my dad on his knees praying. And , he wouldn't let US kids interrupt no matter what was going on. We could be screaming in the other room and we could still walk in and he would just be plead with our heavenly father and all these different ways He was.

Lilly Taylor: Just such a great example to me. Both of my parents are amazing disciples of Jesus Christ and just the way that they raised me and my brothers, I just admire them and I'm so [00:05:00] grateful for them and grateful for my father in heaven that gave me these amazing parents to grow up with. I'm just so grateful for everything they've done for me and that example, that they're

Justin Barton: beautiful.

Justin Barton: So how do you take the example of your dad and your mom? Into your life and try and carry that forward to be maybe an example to others?

Lilly Taylor: Yeah, that's a really great question. I feel like so often we hear the phrase like, what would Jesus do? And sometimes it was hard for me growing up.

Lilly Taylor: I was like, okay, what would Jesus do? I don't know if I know the answer to this one. And so what I realized I started to do is I would find people that were. Disciples of Christ that were striving to live their lives in a way that would please him and so sometimes in my head, instead of going, okay, what would Jesus do, I think, what would my parents do?

Lilly Taylor: What would my dad do in this situation? What would my mom do or my grandma? Those three, I always think of because I know that their actions. Are the actions that Christ would take. And so it's , [00:06:00] that route that I take to what would Jesus do? It's okay, what would my dad do? What would my mom do?

Lilly Taylor: What would grandma do in this situation? Because I know that , the way that they would act is the way that Christ would want them to, and therefore, how I wanna act.

Justin Barton: Yeah. I think that's really a really cool thing. Now, let's talk about Jesus here a little bit. How has your relationship with Jesus over the last while evolved and changed? Who was Jesus prior to your mission and who is he now?

Lilly Taylor: I love my savior so much and any chance I get to talk about him, I just feel so much joy.

Lilly Taylor: That's always how I've felt about Jesus Christ, is he's always brought joy into my life. And before my mission, I didn't completely understand him and I'll never fully understand him or his sacrifice that he is performed for us. We have these mortal minds. But as I was on my mission, I started to really understand what he did for me and why I started to feel the love that he has [00:07:00] for me and for all of his children.

Lilly Taylor: It was really cool to go out and to meet people and know nothing about them, but we'd had this commonality in being, sons and daughter of our Heavenly Father, and therefore Jesus Christ is both of our older brothers. And he is that example to us. And so seeing how he was able to lift me. How he was able to use me to help others, help me better understand his purpose and watching him work through me and be like, Hey Sister Taylor, this is what you gotta do.

Lilly Taylor: This is how I need you to do it. And other people's lives were able to change. Because of his atonement. I was able to see not only the redemptive side. Okay. We can repent, we can change, we can do better, but. Jesus Christ. He'll lift us, he'll strengthen us. He'll make it so we can bear these burdens and we don't have to bear them alone.

Lilly Taylor: So I started to feel more of his empathy, his love mainly on my mission and [00:08:00] just, I don't know. Through that I've been able to come to know him in a more personal way that I'm really grateful for.

Justin Barton: Yeah. Can you share an example of a time when maybe. You were trying to carry things all on your own.

Justin Barton: You're like, this is too much. And you said, Hey, Jesus, . Come take this. And it changed something for you.

Lilly Taylor: So often on my mission, I tried to take it all on myself. I was like, okay, I need to do this, that, and the other. I would make with these huge lists that were way too long, not achievable.

Lilly Taylor: I would just start running and I'd drag my companion along with me. I'm like, Hey, we gotta go, go, go. We have all this that we need to do. Things would just fall through. Things wouldn't go well. It was like this pride cycle, right? We all have these little pride cycles going on, and I would see how, okay, it's not working,

Lilly Taylor: my thought process here maybe wasn't the best because I started to rely on myself. And time and time again I was humbled [00:09:00] and I was brought to my knees and I was brought to the Book of Mormon and I would be reminded that I need to rely on Jesus Christ. There are so many experiences that I had where I.

Lilly Taylor: He reminded me of that. He said, okay, this isn't on you. It's not me in my words that are gonna change people's lives, but it's the atonement of Jesus Christ. It's gonna change people's lives. And Taylor, you gotta remember that. And so , I was just brought back , to humility, but right over and over again.

Lilly Taylor: Being reminded that Jesus Christ is the answer, that through his spirit, people will change that through his spirit. We can achieve all these miraculous things and not through me alone.

Justin Barton: Hmm. You mentioned that , in that pride cycle moment, he brought me back to the Book of Mormon.

Justin Barton: Were there certain particular verses in the Book of Mormon at those times that you were brought back to that meant something to you and woke you up?

Lilly Taylor: Yeah, I, okay, [00:10:00] so the name of this podcast, right? Can you feel, so now I was thinking about it. I was like, why does that sound so familiar?

Lilly Taylor: Because of course, I opened the Book of Mormon and I find the verse Alma five. I love this chapter so much. I probably couldn't even tell you what it is, but every single time I opened to this chapter, it would bring me back to the savior I feel like majority of the times when I was struggling, I would do a little faith flip, right?

Lilly Taylor: I'd pray and I'd be like, okay, lead me to where I need to read. In the Book of Mormon, Alma five would always pop up. My favorite verse that really stuck with me is in Mosiah four, in it's verse 12. And , I can read it for you real quick. It says, and behold, I say unto you that if you do this, you shall always rejoice and be filled with the love of God and always retain a remission of your sins, and you shall grow in the knowledge of the glory of him that created you, or in the knowledge of that which is just and true.

Lilly Taylor: And this whole chapter is talking about repentance. And so when I [00:11:00] was brought back to this humility, right when God was, was humbling me, it would remind me, okay, I need to repent for these things, and this is the promise that he has extended to me. That I will be filled with the love of God, that I'll be forgiven, and that I'll grow a greater testimony and understanding of my Savior Jesus Christ than my heavenly Father.

Lilly Taylor: That was something that was really important to me is better understanding them. And when I better understood them, it helped me to rely on them rather than relying on myself.

Justin Barton: Hmm. There's so much that you just shared in there that I want to follow up on, and I'll probably only get to one or two of them, but one of them is this concept of repentance.

Justin Barton: My generation. , when somebody said repent, it was like no, I don't need to repent. There's nothing wrong with me. I'm seeing this transition and change of the perception of repentance a lot with your generation. I'm seeing that it doesn't carry quite the connotation that it did in my generation.

Justin Barton: Talk to me a little bit [00:12:00] about what repentance means to you and how it works in your life.

Lilly Taylor: I grew up feeling the same way, and that's nothing on the people that were teaching me or my parents. But yeah, this view of repentance, it was like, okay, list. Let's go and list all the things that I did wrong today and I'm just gonna tell my heavenly father and I'm just gonna basically just tell all my sins.

Lilly Taylor: Right? Which is great, right? We do want to own up to these things. And we do wanna say, yes, I know that I've fallen short. But repentance, I've come to understand that it isn't just going, okay, here's my list of A, B, C, and D of the things that I've done wrong, but it's becoming more like my savior, Jesus Christ.

Lilly Taylor: And once I started to understand that concept that I'm not repenting of these, . Major minor since minor. But I am growing in this progression of becoming more like this perfect example that I have our savior. I found so much more joy [00:13:00] and repentance and I found more opportunities to repent, which I thought was weird that I was brought to my knees more often.

Lilly Taylor: Okay. I wasn't like Jesus Christ in this instance, or I, maybe I said something that I maybe shouldn't have, right? Whether it be something bad or just something maybe Christ wouldn't completely say, but it was an opportunity to go back to the scriptures and see how did Jesus Christ act? Going to the New Testament, okay, this is Jesus Christ when he was on the earth or going to 3 Nephi 11, this is Jesus Christ.

Lilly Taylor: When he was on the earth, how did he speak to the people? How did he act? How did he portray himself? Okay, now I need to reflect on my life. Am I portraying myself like this true disciple of Jesus Christ or not? And when I think more I wanna be like my savior, I find more joy and repentance rather than this heart wrenching feeling of, dang it, I messed up again and again and again.

Lilly Taylor: It's yay I, that's one step closer to being like my savior, and [00:14:00] it's an exciting opportunity.

Justin Barton: Yeah. And I love how you started that. How do you differentiate between, I suck. Why do I even try to, Hey, I'm becoming a little bit more like my savior.

Justin Barton: How do you differentiate that and make that decision to, approach it differently?

Lilly Taylor: It's definitely hard. I can't say that it's every single time I'm like, ah, okay, we're doing great. We're gonna keep going. But time and time again in the Book of Mormon, these prophets and these people, they were brought to their knees and they felt this horrible feeling, right?

Lilly Taylor: Like Alma, the younger, he was brought and he felt all of this pain, just this hurt and this ache for his sins. And we don't always feel that way for all of our sins, but it's something I wanna feel more often. Oh, shoot. I didn't quite meet the bar in this point. I didn't make it all the way like I wanted to or like my savior , wanted me to.

Lilly Taylor: But I think one thing that's helped me a [00:15:00] lot is the book of mormon. I keep going back to it because it's my favorite book. And when I read The Book of Mormon, I come to a greater understanding of going back again to the love that Christ has for me and the love my heavenly Father has for me.

Lilly Taylor: And when I see it in more of that light of seeing it as this loving father in heaven that knows my true potential, right? He knows what I can become. When I think about it more in that aspect, rather than this little girl running around making mistakes, it makes life more exciting, more vibrant, more full of love thinking, I'm gonna become more like my heavenly father someday, and that's all I really want.

Lilly Taylor: And I want to be the person that he wants me to become. And knowing that he's right there alongside me, I. Often feel like Jesus Christ. I, he is wrapping his arm around my arm and he is very, yet he's lifting me and he's walking and sometimes he's [00:16:00] skipping with me, but he'll go as slow as I need when I'm barely moving.

Lilly Taylor: He'll run, , he'll sit with me, he'll do all these different things out of this pure love that he has for me as a daughter of God.

Justin Barton: . And you've brought this up already. You said, I love the Book of Mormon.

Justin Barton: It's my favorite book. When did it become that? Has it always been a thing that you've turned to and loved your whole life, or is that something that's grown?

Lilly Taylor: It's definitely grown on my mission. I don't know what I would've done without my mission. I don't know how long it would've taken me to get to where I am without it.

Lilly Taylor: But growing up, like I said, my parents amazing examples. We would do our nightly scripture study in their room and we would each take a turn and just read one verse. Nothing crazy. Because , we would complain as kids would, right? Be like, okay, another time I just wanna go bed.

Lilly Taylor: They're like, Hey, we're gonna go and we're gonna read the Book of Mormon. We're gonna do this as a family. And so I always knew how important the Book of Mormon was, the fact that my parents were always making these sacrifices for us to read it or the [00:17:00] sacrifices for the gospel as a whole. But I definitely didn't prioritize it.

Lilly Taylor: And before my mission, I wasn't reading it nearly as much as I should, on my mission. I realized that before the adversary was really coming at me, he would direct me away from the Book of Mormon. He'd be like, ah, it's fine. And he would distract me with other things. But while I was on my mission, I didn't have any of those distractions anymore,

Lilly Taylor: and so I, if I was bored. I have an amazing book in front of me and I'd start to read it. We have an hour of personal study every morning where I would just read the Book of Mormon, and sometimes that's all I would get to is the Book of Mormon because I started to see it more as a guidebook and also a storybook at the same time.

Lilly Taylor: 'cause when I thought of scripture I was like, oh, it's this daunting thing with all these weird words I don't understand. . But I started to see it as the story of amazing disciples of Jesus Christ or these people that were just really struggling, or these people [00:18:00] that were having these monumental moments of these miracles and how it was all done through Jesus Christ.

Lilly Taylor: And so as I read it, I started to see the way that they were becoming connected with our savior. I started to want that for myself. And so as I read it, I've come to know my savior in a more personal way. And so as I've done that and as I've really hunkered down and just read the book it's helped me to find so much joy and direction in my life and so much peace.

Lilly Taylor: Something that I could never describe the piece that look Mormon brings me.

Justin Barton: Tell me about a time on your mission where you were really struggling maybe, and having a hard time feeling the joy and the peace, and you found peace through the Book of Mormon and or through services as a missionary,

Lilly Taylor: I had a lot of times where I struggled before I left my mission. Everyone was like, okay, this is gonna be the hardest 18 months of your life. It's gonna be great. But that was always like a little side note that it was gonna be great. So I went into my mission going, [00:19:00] this is gonna be the worst 18 months of my life.

Lilly Taylor: And so I set the bar really low which in the long run I'm grateful for. 'cause everything seemed a lot easier after that. I was like, okay. It's gonna be horrible. And then it wasn't as bad , as I thought. But there was a time towards the beginning of my mission. I had no idea what I was doing in the slightest.

Lilly Taylor: And again, I was relying way too much on myself. I wasn't relying on my Heavenly father. I wasn't relying on the savior. I wasn't relying on my companion. And I just felt like I needed to do everything one thing that brought me so much peace and something that I feel like I overlook a lot is hymns.

Lilly Taylor: There's a hy Be Still My Soul.

Lilly Taylor: That song brought so much peace to me.

Lilly Taylor: We were struggling with some friends and some recent converts and that song just popped into my head and it. Immediately calmed my nerves and then [00:20:00] later throughout my mission, that song, every time would pop into my head when I was really struggling. And we so often as missionaries are taught the forget yourself and go to work.

Lilly Taylor: I believe it was Gordon b Hinkley's dad that wrote him that letter. And that is so true, and that's something I'm trying to hold after my mission is forget yourself. Go serve somebody. Do something that the savior would do and it worked every single time. Towards the end of my mission, me and my companion were having a rough day and we were sitting in the kitchen of the church and we were just making these phone calls.

Lilly Taylor: 'cause we were like, Hey, it's almost the end of the night. Like we just need to finish up with some things. And we were sitting there and I was like, I just wanna bed my. I got a little prompting go to Walmart. I was like, oh no. Part of me wants to go to Walmart right now, so I. I think we need to go to Walmart.

Lilly Taylor: And she was, I don't think she was very happy either. I think we were both like, oh crap, we gotta go to Walmart. So [00:21:00] we'd go and we say our prayer. And something I admire about my companion is she always said the most like, excited prayers. Like she was so excited to talk to our heavenly father. And I just loved that.

Lilly Taylor: And so she said this prayer and she said it all upbeat. And I was rolling my eyes. I was like, Hey girl, okay, we'll do it. So we hop out of the car. And , she runs to the other side of the parking lot, and I was like, okay, we're going, we walk up to this person, we say hi, and immediately the conversation just flows and immediately I'm filled.

Lilly Taylor: And we go to the next person immediately. I'm filled with this love for this person and this greater love for my savior. And we go to the next person. And it's again, just joy and love as we're talking to these people. And immediately our whole night was turned around. It was like 15 minutes at Walmart, right before it hit our bed time, right?

Lilly Taylor: We had to be inside. And that was an amazing reminder to me, especially at the end of my mission. If I'm feeling down, if there's ever a struggle that I'm having, I can go and serve somebody and I can [00:22:00] feel God's love for them and for me as I serve.

Lilly Taylor: It wasn't this big conversation that we had with this stranger that completely transformed their life in that instant. It was just, you're here, you're seen, God knows you, and he wanted you to. See just a little bit of his light today, and so he sent to us,

Justin Barton: that's awesome. When I'm feeling down, all I gotta do is go to Walmart, huh?

Lilly Taylor: Yes.

Justin Barton: Were there any other experiences like that? Were the, the prompting came and you're like, really? Are you serious? Okay. Let's go

Lilly Taylor: it happened all the time. I really did. We really were working on receiving revelation and towards the end of my mission and really acting on every prompting that we were given and just realizing, okay, we are servants of Jesus Christ.

Lilly Taylor: We are his missionaries and he gonna give us [00:23:00] revelation all the time. There's so many opportunities and times when God would just give me this little thought, Hey, go and do this. Hey, go talk to this person. And sometimes we were running late, sometimes we really needed to go. And he would say, you need to pull over right now and there's this house and you need to go knock at it.

Lilly Taylor: And like there's this one time we were driving down the street. We were late for a dinner appointment or a lesson, we were running a little bit late, but I heard God tell me that we needed to go and knock on this door. And so we go and we knock on this door and we start talking to this guy and it turns out his brother's a member of the church and he lived just down the road from the church and he had never stepped foot in before.

Lilly Taylor: And we were able to start teaching him and his. Whole persona changed everything about him. He really started to experience the light and love of our savior as he started to accept the gospel. And [00:24:00] there are so many things like that where it's just one little thing that we had to do.

Lilly Taylor: One little action. Okay, this is a little bit more work. I'm really tired today, but we're gonna take these 10 steps up to the we're gonna roll down window. This person's walking on the. And every single time whether something miraculous came out of it or if it was just something small, we would always pull away feeling like our heavenly Father was proud of us.

Lilly Taylor: And that was one of the greatest feelings that I had on the mission was when God is so happy that I just talked to one of his children, right then, even if they did yell at us or if they rolled their eyes or if they said that they were so happy. It always just made me feel so much joy.

Justin Barton: Hmm. You, mentioned, Lilly, that you spent a significant part of your last little bit of time on your mission learning about and acting on Revelation. How do you know it's his voice and not just your own?[00:25:00]

Lilly Taylor: Great question. So I, there's this devotional that we were studying as a mission and I listen to it every single week still 'cause it's something that helped me so much. It's called, you Are Receiving Revelation by Loren Dalton. In this devotional, he talks about how we as members of Christchurch, we've all been given the gift of the Holy Ghost.

Lilly Taylor: We're all receiving Revelation. And this is things we would share with kids. Like, you're nine years old, just so you know, you are receiving revelation. Isn't that so cool? And when I would share it with these kids, I was like, wow, God's trusting them with Revelation. And they share experiences with us on how God worked through them to share the Book of Mormon with a kid on the bus at like 9, 10, 11 years old.

Lilly Taylor: And I thought that was amazing. And so when I thought, okay, God's giving this revelation to these 9, 10, 11 year olds. He's gotta be giving it to me, especially as a missionary. You kidding? And so he talks in this devotional [00:26:00] about how when you act on every revelation, God, he trusts you and you don't wanna lose God's trust.

Lilly Taylor: And so you wanna act on all these. Promptings that he gives you. And he talks about how every act every prompting you act on is like tuning your celestial radio. And I think that concept's so cool. And so that's something that I've been really trying to work on is tuning my celestial radio.

Lilly Taylor: By acting on every prompting I get, I still try and talk to everybody. And just when God's like, in my mind when a random thought comes in, say hi to that person. Before the mission, I definitely would've been like, no, that's awkward. I'm weird. That's weird. I'm shy. Like, no, thank you. Now it's like, oh, they could just use a hi.

Lilly Taylor: Hey, how's it going? And one thing I love is also the talk the prophet gave, I think it was his first talk as the prophet revelation for the church and revelation for our lives. He talks about when you pray, when you are seeking revelation, always have a notebook beside you. And in the scriptures [00:27:00] it talks about going to your closet to pour out your heart to God.

Lilly Taylor: That is one amazing way that I was able to learn how to receive revelation, is I would pour out my heart to God in my literal closet on the mission, and I'd always have my notebook next to me and I would just tell him everything going on. I would just sit there and listen and I would write down every single thing that came to my head, whether I thought it was myself or not.

Lilly Taylor: And then I would take it and I would act on it. And it completely changed my views on everything. And , throughout my mission, I was able to really start tuning that Celestial Radio. And I hope that I keep that going. But I write down everything still. And just taking every thought I get as a prompting and I'm just gonna go in with the assumption, okay, that was God, I need to go.

Lilly Taylor: Even if, maybe it was just my thought, if it's not hurting someone, if it's not making things worse, why wouldn't I act on it? God wants all of his children to be happy, [00:28:00] and there's an opportunity for all of us to help somebody around us. So we just need that.

Justin Barton: That's so cool, and I'm so happy that you're writing these answers.

Justin Barton: As you're praying and taking these notes, do you ever review them like at the end of the day and as you review them, what do you do when you're like, oh, I didn't measure up to what that invitation was. I didn't follow through there, or I did that.

Justin Barton: How do you reconcile things after you review that?

Lilly Taylor: Yeah, there was an elder in my mission that would talk about how he would go to his closet and prayer every morning, and he would be like, okay, God, gimme one task for the day that I really need to accomplish. And he'd go and he'd strive to accomplish that task, and then he'd return a report that night.

Lilly Taylor: So I started to take this and I was like, okay, in the morning I'm gonna ask for this opportunity to receive a prompting and I'm gonna promise God that I'm gonna act on it. And I was definitely not perfect, but I surely tried. And that's where this repentance [00:29:00] comes in. Every night when I would review, I'd always flip back and I still flip back to my mission prayer journals.

Lilly Taylor: And I like looking at the different things and the way that things have played out, because it's not always gonna be immediate. But going back and saying, okay, what did I act on today? Or what promise did God extend to me that was fulfilled? Because every single thing that God promises to us will be fulfilled as long as we do our part.

Lilly Taylor: And so sometimes I would realize, wow, God literally perform that miracle because of this one thing that I said I was gonna do earlier, this one prompting that he gave me earlier. He made this happen because of it. And other times I would come in, I'd be like, I did not do the best on that. I definitely didn't achieve that in a way that I should have.

Lilly Taylor: But I learned in this joyful repentance. , I have an opportunity tomorrow to try better, to try to do better, right? I'm gonna do better tomorrow. And I would go in and I'd [00:30:00] make maybe another bullet point or two on that thing that I might've missed the day before and see how I can make up for it the next day.

Lilly Taylor: And God always gave me an opportunity to make up on the things that I may have lacked and the power of the atonement of Jesus Christ Always made up for every single time.

Justin Barton: Did you ever teach maybe friends that you were teaching on your mission about this practice, or did you teach other missionaries or maybe friends at home, family members at home about this practice of , writing revelation?

Lilly Taylor: , I am obsessed with this. I talk about it all the time. I talked about it last night with one of my friends and every opportunity I have to talk about revelation. I just go crazy. But I love teaching our friends how to receive this revelation, and it's something that really helps them, especially when the adversary was coming at them, because we know that when they're coming close to the truth.

Lilly Taylor: The Adversary is going to try his very best. To get them away from the truth, from the Gospel of Christ. And so teaching them [00:31:00] how to receive this revelation, changed everything because they were able to notice the little steps they were able to take. Because looking at the gospel, it's like, okay, I have so many things I need to do. There's so many things I need to understand before I get baptized. There's things I need to quit, there's things I need to start, and it's overwhelming.

Lilly Taylor: But they were able to start receiving their own revelation and the little things that they could do. Just the small and simple acts that they were able to take so that Christ could really just carry them and help them overcome these walls, these burdens, these tactics of the adversary. And so it was amazing to watch them learn this skill that will change them for the rest of their lives.

Lilly Taylor: It was amazing teaching, kinda sharing these experiences with my family. I shared them with my dad and with my little brother who was trying to figure out what he should do . It was really amazing to get their perspective, their side of it, and. Just compare notes, find ways that we could [00:32:00] all increase our revelation together.

Lilly Taylor: And every time we were with missionaries, we would try and talk about Revelation and we would go on exchanges and do trainings and things. We would talk about it, discuss it and find ways that we could all tune that Celestial radio. Together because when we were united as a mission, so many miracles happened when I was united with my family at home and I told them what we needed help with or needed to receive revelation on my family would pray and that would help everything, that it would all come together as we were working in unity with that same goal to help others become under Christ.

Justin Barton: So would you say Revelation was like a theme of your mission presidents or was it a theme of maybe a district or a zone that you were in? Why did this become such an important part of your mission?

Lilly Taylor: I dunno if it was about, maybe halfway through, we had a zone conference about Revelation. And from then on that was, we would talk about all the time [00:33:00] and the next two zone conferences were a lot about Revelation as well,

Lilly Taylor: I feel like I became obsessed, and every training that I was able to give or talk about Revelation was always a big part of it. Every zone that we were in, we would make sure that was something that, especially the new missionaries coming in, were able to understand because. I saw every single transfer, new missionaries would come in, I'd be like, wow, they're even better than the ones before.

Lilly Taylor: And it was just amazing to see how prepared these missionaries were, even if they felt like they were so inadequate. They brought a spirit like the mother, and then you taught them the power of revelation and how they can receive it. And you watch them build on their own knowledge of the revelation and learn how they receive it.

Lilly Taylor: It was so cool to watch the way that they were able to flourish and help their friends just grow. And I feel like everyone was just so excited when they had these miracles happen because of [00:34:00] these little beings. We would always, as a mission call it bings 'cause of the demotion we listened to, like we got this bing, this bing happened, and so this happened and these miracles.

Lilly Taylor: And so it just became that one zone conference that started all just was this domino effect. Helping every single missionary that was there or that was coming to understand that God does speak to them and helping them. How does Speak,

Justin Barton: can I share a little? Personal revelation I received once that I think really pertains to this and share what I think I learned and you riff on it after I share it with you is, are you okay with that?

Lilly Taylor: Yes, I'd love that.

Justin Barton: Okay. You know the parable of the 10 virgins, you got the, the five wise and the five foolish, and they don't have enough oil to share and there's not enough oil to go around the fight, foolish runoff and have to get oil, and then they're left out of the marriage feast. So one day I was thinking on this and praying on this, and I asked God, I said, [00:35:00] teach me more.

Justin Barton: And this image of the five wise Virgins started off as one who was taught a concept of personal revelation, and that one taught another and another, and they started teaching each other. And those who. Said, Hey, this is awesome. We're filling their lamps with oil. And those that said, that's a great and everything, but whatever, we're the ones that just had enough oil for that moment and didn't have enough , for further along.

Justin Barton: And so, the way I saw that was it's, it's people sharing with each other, sharing my oil with you, gives me more oil, and gives them the oil that they know that they can share with others. So as I share that with you, riff on that. Give me a little feedback on that. Tell me what your thoughts are.

Lilly Taylor: I love that. I think that's a really cool way to, to look at it. And that's how I, I felt my mission when I was learning all these things. To be honest, I did not understand the [00:36:00] gospel as well as I should have before I left. I didn't know a lot and so as I was learning these things, I would sometimes get a little too excited and sometimes I'd go a little too deep with our friends and things like that, but I would so excited about these cool things that I learned, and then when we would go out, it would be.

Lilly Taylor: Just this excitement to tell others about it. And then they would get excited about it. And when I saw them light up, when I saw the light of Christ shining through them because of this aha moment that they just had. Oh, I wanted nothing more than to go and share it with 20 more people down the road, and so it just got us fired up every single time.

Lilly Taylor: And then watching those people that we just fired up go and turn to others, they would tell us about how they went and they taught their family about the things that we talked about or how they stopped somebody on the side of the road and just started telling them about it or at the grocery store.

Lilly Taylor: And it was just this, domino effect, this ripple effect of. Just everyone being [00:37:00] excited and the light of Christ literally beaming out of them. Just so excited and it would always, it always came back to me as this pure joy and readiness to go out and do it again the next day and the next day and the next day.

Lilly Taylor: 'cause every day is hard as a missionary, but every day is so full of joy. My favorite thing is when we would have a rough day. And the very last minute, something joyful would happen and you'd watch the effect that you can have on others and you watch how it changes them.

Lilly Taylor: And then immediately, all I want is for it to be the next morning so we can go out again and watch change.

Lilly Taylor: I love the way that you talked about how when you are pouring this oil in somebody else's lamp, your lamp is also filling right. Every single time. And that's how the gospel is. That's how it's supposed to be. God. He wants to bless all of his children and we're helping to bless others.

Lilly Taylor: He's gonna magnify [00:38:00] that. He's gonna magnify every single thing that we do.

Justin Barton: Thank you for going through that. And I love, just like what you said, when you see someone light up, a light turn on in their eyes, their little rusty lamp, all of a sudden a flame comes out of it and it just explodes. I love seeing that too. It's one of the greatest satisfactions in my life, and so thank you for, .

Justin Barton: Riffing back and forth with me on that, . All right, so as we start wrapping up this conversation, Lilly, is there anything else that's just on your heart that you're like, man, I really hope Justin asks me about this, or as we've spoken, you want to go deeper into or want to comment on?

Lilly Taylor: One thing that I think about a lot, and it was one of the things that really resonated with me towards the end of my mission. And something that I just continue to think about is the power of covenants. Because all throughout your mission, our goal is to help others to come un Christ, right?

Lilly Taylor: To grow their faith in him and his atonement to repent. [00:39:00] It was easy to get wrapped into, okay, we're helping this person be baptized, right? Oh, amazing. We get another member of the church and there were so many good, positive things that were encompassed about it, right? We get to help somebody to feel this joy, but something that I wish I would've focused on even more is the power that their covenants will bring into their lives.

Lilly Taylor: So often it was easy for us to help somebody prepare to be baptized and they would get baptized I would be so scared that they would fall off or that they would fall off the face of the planet for a little bit. And I was again, relying a little too much on myself.

Lilly Taylor: But then remembering the power that their covenants have, that they really did just go and make these promises with God. And these promises that they have aren't just pleading, they're not just this thing that he just [00:40:00] said that he would do, but it's this thing that he provides to us outta love and,

Lilly Taylor: and so we are helping people. Covenants with our father that bind us to him and give us a greater measure of his spirit and his strength. Make sure they're staying on the covenant path and there's still things I need to do as a missionary, but they were bound to , our father in heaven.

Lilly Taylor: They were given the Holy Ghost. Be with them. They are able to repent fully because you're gonna fall off the wagon at some point, right? Everyone's gonna make these mistakes. But these promises you just made with God every week when you go part the sacrament, it's gonna be wipe clean as long as you're saying you're gonna strive to do better the next week.

Lilly Taylor: And that's just something that I love so much is the power. God has granted to us because he loves us so much. So he gave us his [00:41:00] son as this perfect example to go and to be baptized. And it's something that I hope all missionaries can remember is that they aren't just helping somebody be baptized, but they're helping somebody be bound to God and receive his power in their lives, and he is not gonna abandon them.

Justin Barton: Beautiful. Thank you , for bringing all that together. That's that. That was amazing. All right, so as we've already discussed a little bit here, this project is called Can You Feel, so Now, and it's based on Alma 5 26. I. And I'm gonna read that verse and then I'm gonna ask you a series of questions. And then , we will start wrapping up.

Justin Barton: And the verse reads. And now behold, I say unto you, if you have experienced a change of heart, and if you have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can you feel so now? So Lilly, talk to me a little bit about the change of heart that you've experienced over the last couple of years , in this, in this life.

Justin Barton: As a missionary,

Lilly Taylor: I definitely had a hard heart before the mission in regards to so many different things. My [00:42:00] humility wasn't where it needed to be, and I am really grateful that my mission, it, it did humble me, it brought me back to Jesus Christ in every aspect. I love.

Lilly Taylor: Have you felt sing a song of redeeming love? And that's what I felt on my mission, this redeeming love, this love of my savior. And I know I keep talking about it because it's something that I just can't get over. I didn't understand how much my heavenly father and my savior, Jesus Christ, loved me before my mission.

Lilly Taylor: I didn't know the sacrifice. That they have performed for me because of that love. I think often about how Jesus Christ, when he was suffering in the guardian of Gethsemane, at any point he wanted to back out, right? He is feeling all of this pain, all this turmoil. He would [00:43:00] keep going because of his love.

Lilly Taylor: And even if it was just for me, there was nobody else in the world that needed. His atonement. There's nobody else that needed him to feel their suffering but me. He still would've done it every single time. Every single pain I have ever felt, he will take it upon himself time and time again because he loves me.

Lilly Taylor: And while I was on my mission, I felt him by himself to me lifting me. And I now know that my heavenly Father and my savior, Jesus Christ, are right there alongside of me. Every step I'll take and I have come to better understand why they gave us the gospel of Jesus Christ. Why they gave us this beautiful church that we get to be a part of.

Lilly Taylor: I know that it's [00:44:00] complete and may not be out of love. Each and every one of God's children individually and collectively.

Justin Barton: It sounds like I just listened to the words of that song of redeeming love that you wrote from this. Is that, does that kind of define what that means to you to sing the song of redeeming love, what you just shared there?

Lilly Taylor: Yeah. I feel like it's all just feeling the love. My only father from the very beginning to the very end, from the premortal life to where I'll end eventually, right? Hopefully being in that celestial kingdom, in that kingdom of glory with them. But before this life, they loved me perfectly.

Lilly Taylor: And so God created this perfect plan for me, and that's something I go back to a lot. That was my favorite thing to teach people was the Premortal life. And I would just get so giddy every time I got to teach somebody that God knew them before he knew [00:45:00] what they were gonna struggle with, what their challenges were gonna be.

Lilly Taylor: And he'd also know what was going bring them joy. , how to find joy in this life. How to be, how to grow, how to become better, how to become more like our savior and their spirit. They, it knows that my spirit knows how to overcome challenges. My spirit knows who heaven me, father in Jesus Christ are I've, I've seen them before, not in this life, but my spirit.

Lilly Taylor: It knows them, and that's something that I am able to . think on and come back to when I am struggling to know that my heavenly Father loves me so much that he did put me here and he is gonna help me through every step of the way to get back to him. That's all he wants is for me to come home and there's nothing I want more than to return home.

Justin Barton: Hmm. Beautiful. All right, so it's hard to imagine. [00:46:00] Right now, you are glowing with the light of Christ. That lamp you have is overflowing. , there's fire shooting out of the lamp. Let's jump in a time machine to, sometime ahead in your life. And for whatever reason, we get out of the time machine.

Justin Barton: And the Lilly you encounter there, the lamp is cold, dark. And missing oil. Talk to yourself. Fill your future self's lamp with oil and get it burning again.

Lilly Taylor: I was thinking about this the other night actually, and there's three things that I thought of while I was pondering on this kind of my, don't you dare go less active plan.

Lilly Taylor: Is the promise

Lilly Taylor: Mormon.

Lilly Taylor: From the gospel, from the church, there is actually a promise, blessing that I have in the very back of , my Book of Mormon. And it's his promise. He says, I promise, as you perfectly study the book, Mormon, every day you'll make better decisions every day. I promise. As you [00:47:00] ponder what you study, the windows of heaven will open and you'll receive answers to your own questions and direction for your own life.

Lilly Taylor: I promise, as you immerse yourself in the Book of Mormon, you can be immunized against the evils of the day. And that's a promise that I know to be true, and something that if I were to ever go away from the gospel, if I were ever to stray, stray away, that this would ring true as I open my book of Mormon and as I study it every day, that I can come back fully into the gospel.

Lilly Taylor: And not that God will ever kick me out or anything like that, but I can feel that again. I study the Book of Mormon and the other two, one being prayer to go back to these closet prayers and to just, with my heavenly Father, ask him if he's there, ask him what he needs me to do. So often when I start my prayers, I think of the primary song, but Heavenly Father, are you really there? Do you hear an [00:48:00] answer? Every child's prayer and every single time I pray, I think of that, that Psalm, and I say those words and immediately the answer comes to my head, yes, I do hear every single prayer you say, and I'll answer every single one of them.

Lilly Taylor: And that that song, along with my actual prayer. I know tie me back to my Heavenly Father. And then the last being service we were talking about earlier. Nothing brings the, the joy and the light of Christ into me faster than going and serving others. And it's not always easy to recognize that it is that light , of our Savior and of our heavenly Father.

Lilly Taylor: But when you doing it, start to realize that it is

Lilly Taylor: blessing all of God's children. And then when you start to feel that love for them, when I start to feel the love for others, that's when I really start to understand how much love God has [00:49:00] for me. And so I know I need to go out and I need to serve others.

Justin Barton: Beautiful. will, you close this out with a powerful testimony of whatever principles you'd like to, to Bear testimony of right now.

Lilly Taylor: I know that the gospel of Jesus Christ is real and it's on the earth. I am so grateful for Joseph Smith for everything that he had to go through, everything that he had to suffer because he knew how important his role was in the restoration of Christ Church. Back to the earth. He did everything that he said he did, and I know that he did translate the Book of Mormon.

Lilly Taylor: There is no doubt I have in my mind that he translated the Book of Mormon and my testimony of the church and my testimony of Joseph Smith all stem from the book of Mormon. I know that Joseph Smith is a prophet of God [00:50:00] because I couldn't feel the spirit the way that I feel the spirit when I read the book, Mormon.

Lilly Taylor: If it was just a random man that wrote this book off of a whim or to try and trick others, it simply couldn't happen. And this book, it has taught me. Who Jesus Christ is, and I know that our savior, Jesus Christ, he has a perfect infinite love for all of God's children, and we never have to be alone in this life.

Lilly Taylor: And we never are alone because God has provided his son and we have the spirit and we're able to receive revelation. I know that the power and authority God is. To help us, to make covenants with him, to bind us to him. And I know that we are able to receive his blessings as we act on the things that he has taught us to [00:51:00] do.

Lilly Taylor: But I know that the gospel of Jesus Christ is real, and I know that Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ love us..

Justin Barton: Amen. Amen. Lilly, thank you. Keep that fire burning. You are a light. Keep it lit. Thank you so much for this conversation. It's been amazing for me. I hope it's been helpful for you.

Lilly Taylor: Definitely has. Thank you so much.